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For Jimmy (this not for you Sharon. Go to hell!)

Spazmo

Dear Jimmy,

I made the house out of garbage in the back yard for a couple (very good) reasons so don’t let your mom tear it down. I know she’s gonna try so don’t let her. One reason I made it is cause the deserts of France, people make houses out of cow dung. Don’t laugh, now. TV said it don’t stink too bad cause it gets all hot in the sun and dries out and next thing you know it don’t stink at all. Trust your daddy on this one. When that garbage gets good and hot this summer, it’ll do the same. Just you wait.

I made that little house for you and those kids I saw you playing with the other day. Y’all can have a party or something. Don’t you let them boss you round none, hear? It’s your Goddamn house and I made it for you. You tell them that. Tell them I’ll come back and kick all their Goddamn asses. Daddy’s only gonna be gone for a while, ok? See, he’s got some real good ideas that are gonna take off once he gets somewhere people don’t treat you like shit for trying.

Your mama’s gonna tell you a lot of stuff about me when I’m gone and I’ll tell you it’s all a bunch of goddamn bullshit. I never hurt nobody, least of all her. Any of the stuff that …

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Recent Writing:

Five Questions: the Spazmo edition

Spazmo

The latest installment of our blog meme, five questions, has BishopX interviewing Spazmo:

1. Who would you say has most shaped your life?

My first thought here was to list all the men who helped me define who I am. Who did I model myself after? Who allowed me …

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14 Comments

Five Questions: the BishopX edition

bishopX

Continuing with our meme, this week BishopX answers Waterhouse’s five questions.
1. In a freak twist of fate, you’ve been declared President of the United States. What do you do? Provide details, even if it involves immediately getting drunk on power. Actually, especially if it …

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21 Comments

Five Questions: the Waterhouse edition

Waterhouse

Following is Murdered Duchess’s interview with Waterhouse in the latest edition of the blog meme, “Five Questions.”

1. Please compose an eloquent, succinct and succulent essay of stylistically compelling and grammatically immaculate prose* regarding three (3) of the following topics:

    …

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15 Comments

Five Questions: Gloveshot edition

Lady Penelope

Following our blog meme from Ethan, we’re each taking turns asking five questions. This week, I (Lady Penelope) asked Gloveshot five questions. Here are his answers:

1. You’ve been married 31 years. Congratulations, that’s awesome! How did you propose to your wife?
It …

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18 Comments


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Links

Friday, July 03, 2009


Sarah Palin resigns, will not seek re-election
Newsflash! • 2 Comments

No, I was wrong. THIS is all that matters! Just this, this, THIS!
Play-Me! • 0 Comments

How Star Trek made me an Atheist
Religion TV • 0 Comments

This is it! This is the only thing that matters! Just this! THIS THIS THIS!
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Because I love you: ceiling porn!
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What economic recovery?
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Kobayashi enters the hot dog contest a weakened man; competitive eating is a dangerous business
Sport • 0 Comments

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Books History • 0 Comments

Last pictures taken
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Nuclear, coal, or llamas in a circle rotating a gear assemblage? Experts decide.
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Thursday, July 02, 2009


MJ impersonator tries to save Delorean by kicking repo man in the taint. Intense
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How to take fireworks photos +
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Careful at lunch
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Diary from a recovering alcoholic
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24 most ridiculous thought out storefront signs
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The Plimpton Project
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New trial of the century: who killed Michael Jackson?
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"Some Amish Lived It Up Until Hard Times Hit; Dinners Out and LED-Appointed Carriages"
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Mental disorder and your DNA
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Wednesday, July 01, 2009


Springer openly acknowledges the suckfest he has wrought on the world
TV • 1 Comments

Karl Malden wasn't dead yet, but he is now
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Why do we rape, kill, and sleep around? Because it's fun! DUH!
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20 visualizations to understanding crime
Crime • 0 Comments

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


The Florida Keys will be the first to go, and nobody's doing a thing about it
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Al Franken wins Minnesota Senate seat--for now
Politics • 4 Comments

Is the Michael Jackson death a hoax?
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Is Scientology's wall cracking?
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A rarish interview with Seth McFarlane
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Here's a blog dedicated to weird scientific research
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Monday, June 29, 2009


Obama settles on a non-annoying church
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Saturday, June 27, 2009


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Friday, June 26, 2009


Michael Jackson's patent application for his signature move
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Today's Poll

Fat Jerry is celebrating the new economy by:
Melting his remaining soap bars into soup to sell at the church bake sale.
Stealing cash and brownies at the church bake sale.
Forgoing his brazilian wax.
Learning to cook with unusual cuts of meat--like toe and finger.
Forcing his stand-up routine on the other patrons of the soup kitchen.
Surviving on his collection of vintage cough drops.
Looking for a stable ponzi scheme to invest in.
Sobbing silently in a dark closet, "When is it going to be over?"
Being thin for a change.

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