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Toe nail clipper

flock

A. found a collection of items on the driveway this morning: one caster wheel, a roll of paper towels, some electric cable zip ties, a toe nail clipper, some screwdriver bits, a lock tumbler, a valve housing and a few fittings, a spark plug, a few drywall screws, a dental hook thingy, and other seemingly random items. Since we’d risk puncturing our tires if we were to drive over the screws, I bagged up all the flotsam and jetsam and tossed them into the trashcan outside. About a half-an-hour later, a guy rang the doorbell and asked me where all the stuff from the driveway had disappeared to. Another shorter more agitated dude then walked up and asked if I’d seen a toolbox and a wheeled cart. Apparently the shorter guy had gotten into a Valentine’s Day quarrel with his lady friend last night, and this led to a select portion of his possessions being strewn about on our driveway.

They were insistent on getting back the stuff I’d thrown out, and I assured them that it wasn’t a problem and that I’d come out to get it for them. They started to repeat that they really needed the stuff, and I interrupted rather grouchily, “DUDE! I’m coming out!” I bent down to slip on my shoes, and when I stood up they’d disappeared around the corner and they had started helping themselves to the …

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Comment of the Week
Flock

NEWSFLASH! Baby girl born to newbie parents January 20 01:13. 7 pounds, 10.7 ounces, 19 inches. Our little monkey is feeding voraciously : by January 25, she’d gained one pound! In the photog, she’s drunk on mother’s milk.

Labor and delivery went off without a hitch, and mom’s recovery is going smoothly. I’m proud of her for successfully taking on a natural birth. She says it was easier than she expected it to be. Amazing.


Recent Writing:

For Jimmy (this not for you Sharon. Go to hell!)

Spazmo

Dear Jimmy,

I made the house out of garbage in the back yard for a couple (very good) reasons so don’t let your mom tear it down. I know she’s gonna try so don’t let her. One reason I made it is cause the deserts of France, …

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Five Questions: the Spazmo edition

Spazmo

The latest installment of our blog meme, five questions, has BishopX interviewing Spazmo:

1. Who would you say has most shaped your life?

My first thought here was to list all the men who helped me define who I am. Who did I model myself after? Who allowed me …

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14 Comments

Five Questions: the BishopX edition

bishopX

Continuing with our meme, this week BishopX answers Waterhouse’s five questions.
1. In a freak twist of fate, you’ve been declared President of the United States. What do you do? Provide details, even if it involves immediately getting drunk on power. Actually, especially if it …

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21 Comments

Five Questions: the Waterhouse edition

Waterhouse

Following is Murdered Duchess’s interview with Waterhouse in the latest edition of the blog meme, “Five Questions.”

1. Please compose an eloquent, succinct and succulent essay of stylistically compelling and grammatically immaculate prose* regarding three (3) of the following topics:

    …

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