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You have a bridge to sell? What do you know, Dad was just looking for one

Lady Penelope

This morning Parker emailed me, “There are times to be gracious in victory. That said, I hope you spend most of today sending e-mails to your dad.” My father’s the kind of guy with lots of wisdom to give, if wisdom smells like horseshit. He likes to let everyone argue their points out about politics, watch their voices rally and raise and then, when somebody’s near tears, lift his finger and say, in a quieter voice, “Listen.” He is a man convinced of his own underdog genius.

When I was younger, I bought into it. I even enjoyed rallying with him, taking the opposite side (whether or not I believed in it), to engage in a spirited but convivial discussion of politics of the day. Communism, is it bad? Do the homeless really want to be homeless? But after a time, the myth he’d made for himself could no longer sustain disbelief.

After all, it is with this quiet, patient, determined, old-man-on-the-mountain manner he has delivered the following pearls (warning, some of this is racist and rottenly offensive):

  • The Japanese are trying to destroy America by moving their families over, ruining their homes, and destroying our property values. When our property values go, our economy goes with it. And because they’re taking all our jobs, we won’t be able to buy new houses. That’s their plan.
  • Global warming isn’t happening, it’s just …

    MORE...

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Recent Writing:

THE MCLAUGHLIN GROUP DOES THE AMERICAS, and a Few Other Continents Inbetween: Reality TV Proposals

Lady Penelope

Summer’s here, and so is filler TV, from Big Brother to Wife Swap. I won’t watch, not much anyway, but occasionally I will be just hungover enough.  What is it that’s so engrossing about a mother who is totally, totally shocked any woman would let her kids …

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Can we blame Bill?

Lady Penelope

Here we are counting down the last 2 1/2 years of this presidency, 29% of us high enough to still be satisfied with things. But for the rest of us, I ask the following:

How much of this is Clinton’s fault?

Recently, …

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Links

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Gun advocates shift focus, seek permission to carry pretty much everywhere
Politics • 0 Comments

Friday, March 05, 2010


Anti-Gay Sen. Ashburn R(epressed) busted for DUI after leaving (anyone?) gay bar
Politics • 5 Comments

Sarah Palin eyes the big markets
Politics TV • 0 Comments

Wednesday, March 03, 2010


Democrats will have the votes they need for health bill, says aide
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Tuesday, March 02, 2010


The Millennials: a Pew inside look
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Who's got the tar and feathers?
Politics Wretched • 1 Comments

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


"This week will determine the shape of American politics for the next 3 years"
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Monday, February 22, 2010


Doctors go to jail to stand up for public health care
Health Politics • 0 Comments

Fox News struggles to explain Ron Paul poll win
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Saturday, February 20, 2010


R.I.P. Former Secretary of State Alexander Haig
Politics • 1 Comments

Friday, February 19, 2010


Actor with down syndrome has something to say about Palin
Politics • 2 Comments

Michelle Obama reads lots of fun Commie beach books
Books Politics • 0 Comments

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Obama invites Dalai Lama over
Politics World • 11 Comments

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Is Evan Bayh looking to challenge Obama in 2012? Because that would be crazy. I mean, right?
Obama-rama! Politics • 2 Comments

Monday, February 15, 2010


What's Ken Starr doing these days?
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Friday, February 12, 2010


Who's your favorite senator?
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Wednesday, February 10, 2010


McCain not shithouse-rat-crazy enough for Tea Party, moves further toward the nuthouse
Politics • 0 Comments

Tuesday, February 09, 2010


Meghan McCain (daughter of John, yes) calls Tea Party movement "racist"
Politics • 0 Comments

Monday, February 08, 2010


R.I.P. Rep. John Murtha (D-Pa)
Politics Reaping-Grimly • 0 Comments

Palin delivers speech to Tea Party members, checks hand for notes
Katie-Couric Politics Wretched • 2 Comments

Saturday, February 06, 2010


Senator Al Franken rips Comcast CEO a new one
Politics • 2 Comments

Friday, February 05, 2010


I think some people are just a little too defensive, if you know what I mean
Politics • 0 Comments

Wednesday, February 03, 2010


Michael Steele rules out 2012 White House run
Politics • 0 Comments

Friday, January 29, 2010


In case you haven't heard about the Chris Matthews slip-up
Katie-Couric Politics TV Whoops! • 2 Comments

Thursday, January 28, 2010


Who watched the State of the Union? Thoughts?
Politics • 1 Comments

Monday, January 25, 2010


Air America crashes and burns...
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Thursday, January 21, 2010


Did Scott Brown's win really change anything?
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Studies show you can pick out a wingnut at ten yards by the cut of his chin
Politics Science • 0 Comments

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Rep. Brown beats Coakley in Massachusetts, GOP can now filibuster
Politics • 4 Comments

Sunday, January 17, 2010


The real head of the GOP
Politics • 5 Comments

Friday, January 15, 2010


Sexting: child pr0n or free speech?
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Obama aims to reverse the War on Science: how much can one man do?
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Obama vows to tax the banks for the bailout
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Republican Senator Scott Brown, anti-healthcare crusader, beefcake model
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Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Same sex marriages are a conservative value
Politics • 0 Comments

Monday, January 11, 2010


Sarah Palin found a job! I'm still unemployed. I should start frothing randomly about death panels
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Wednesday, January 06, 2010


U.S. may still be the dominant superpower for a long time. Here's why.
Politics World • 0 Comments

Tuesday, January 05, 2010


Georgia, you ain't no peach
Politics Sad • 1 Comments

Saturday, January 02, 2010


Presidential hopeful gets shot down by County Judge
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Star Trek is for communists
Politics TV • 7 Comments

Thursday, December 24, 2009


Senate passes healthcare bill
Health Politics • 0 Comments

Right-wing hysteria isn't new
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Friday, December 18, 2009


Does Goldman Sachs control the government?
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009


Why Americans are giving up on the environment
Green Politics • 2 Comments

If I kill any shoppers/drivers/relatives this Christmas, which state should I do it in?
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Health Insurers paying Facebookers to write angry letters for them
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Nothing binds like a common enemy--for example, Lieberman *
Politics • 2 Comments

Hypocritical Republicans lambasting the very ideas they espoused a few years ago
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Monday, December 14, 2009


Tax-free tummy tucks for everybody!
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Citigroup announces plan to repay bailout funds
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Joe Lieberman is a self-serving, attention-whore c@nt
Politics • 2 Comments

Sunday, December 13, 2009


Houston elects gay mayor
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Thursday, December 10, 2009


Why the Washington Post sucks @ss and will soon go out of business
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North Carolina prefers a god-fearing man
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Tuesday, December 08, 2009


Obama unveils second stimulus package: jobs, jobs, jobs
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Friday, December 04, 2009


CostCo is blue, Wal-Mart is red
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Wednesday, December 02, 2009


New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down
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Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Have you considered, sir, hiring a new web designer?
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009


The Tea Party's really done it this time
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Monday, November 23, 2009


We can't all be artists. Or geographers.
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This American Life jumps into the healthcare fray, hates everything including the Obama plan
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Friday, November 20, 2009


Pointers for talking to your right-wingnut relatives this holiday season
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