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You have a bridge to sell? What do you know, Dad was just looking for one

Lady Penelope

This morning Parker emailed me, “There are times to be gracious in victory. That said, I hope you spend most of today sending e-mails to your dad.” My father’s the kind of guy with lots of wisdom to give, if wisdom smells like horseshit. He likes to let everyone argue their points out about politics, watch their voices rally and raise and then, when somebody’s near tears, lift his finger and say, in a quieter voice, “Listen.” He is a man convinced of his own underdog genius.

When I was younger, I bought into it. I even enjoyed rallying with him, taking the opposite side (whether or not I believed in it), to engage in a spirited but convivial discussion of politics of the day. Communism, is it bad? Do the homeless really want to be homeless? But after a time, the myth he’d made for himself could no longer sustain disbelief.

After all, it is with this quiet, patient, determined, old-man-on-the-mountain manner he has delivered the following pearls (warning, some of this is racist and rottenly offensive):

  • The Japanese are trying to destroy America by moving their families over, ruining their homes, and destroying our property values. When our property values go, our economy goes with it. And because they’re taking all our jobs, we won’t be able to buy new houses. That’s their plan.
  • Global warming isn’t happening, it’s just …

    MORE...

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Recent Writing:

THE MCLAUGHLIN GROUP DOES THE AMERICAS, and a Few Other Continents Inbetween: Reality TV Proposals

Lady Penelope

Summer’s here, and so is filler TV, from Big Brother to Wife Swap. I won’t watch, not much anyway, but occasionally I will be just hungover enough.  What is it that’s so engrossing about a mother who is totally, totally shocked any woman would let her kids …

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Can we blame Bill?

Lady Penelope

Here we are counting down the last 2 1/2 years of this presidency, 29% of us high enough to still be satisfied with things. But for the rest of us, I ask the following:

How much of this is Clinton’s fault?

Recently, …

MORE...

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Yup. Although most religious texts can also apply.

the Holly Bibble fer instance?



Links

Friday, October 07, 2011


The Tea Party vs. Alexander Hamilton
History Politics • 0 Comments

Powell bites back
Politics • 0 Comments

Saturday, October 01, 2011


Preacher don't preach ... politics
Beasties Money Obama-rama! Politics • 4 Comments

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Irish Presidential Race heats up, 7 candidates, & Ezra Yitzhak raped a boy of 15...
The-"D"-Word Creepy Lists Politics Sad Sex Update World • 0 Comments

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


WTF? "Poll: Fox News Best TV News Network say Americans"
The-"D"-Word History Katie-Couric Life Politics Wretched Whoops! • 0 Comments

If everything still sucks come election time…
The-"D"-Word Obama-rama! Politics • 6 Comments

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Nascar intends Obama no disrespect, they're just really really really busy driving around in circles
Katie-Couric Politics • 2 Comments

Saturday, September 10, 2011


"Rudie Says: Don't Relax!"
Beasties Creepy Crime Politics Sad • 0 Comments

Wednesday, August 31, 2011


One of these people is the President, the other isn't. Who should be in charge?
Business Politics • 0 Comments

A religious, Republican candidate for 2012 who might actually be good / smart?
Business Pinch-Me! Politics Religion • 3 Comments

Monday, August 29, 2011


Bachmann's "Message from God" re. Irene was just for "Jest" - death toll now at 35
Beasties Booze/Pills/Candy Chunky-Flow Creepy History Politics Reaping-Grimly Update • 2 Comments

Sunday, August 28, 2011


Who needs designers (or people with even a little taste) anyway? A bumper sticker…
Crime Politics Wretched • 2 Comments

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Run down of the implausible, unelectable candidates (AKA, your new Boss in 2012)
Beasties Booze/Pills/Candy Politics • 1 Comments

Monday, August 22, 2011


Perry shares the wealth
Money Politics Wretched • 0 Comments

Thursday, August 18, 2011


Rick Perry -- ancillary to the whole jobs thing in Texas, not the cause of it
Politics • 4 Comments

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


If your to be born in San Francisco, yank back real hard on your dick and they may not mutilate you
Chunky-Flow Creepy Fluff Health Katie-Couric Life Pinch-Me! Politics Religion Sad Sex Wretched Whoops! • 0 Comments

First Presidential bollox transplant shows early signs of taking hold
Fat-as-Fuck! Obama-rama! Newsflash! Politics • 1 Comments

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Caution: Facebook can lead to four year jail sentences
Advice Creepy Crime Interwebs Politics • 1 Comments

Friday, August 12, 2011


Everything you need to know about that crazy Michelle Bachmann
Politics • 6 Comments

Sunday, August 07, 2011


GOP doesn't just hate the poor, they hate the damn planet
Business Crime Health History Life Politics Wretched • 0 Comments

Don't recall seeing any of these around here…
Crime History Life Politics Reaping-Grimly Sad Wretched War World • 3 Comments

If you are going to San Francisco, make sure you are a whiny little sod
Life Lists Politics Sad • 4 Comments

Thursday, August 04, 2011


Sick freaks go international: Westboro baptist church heads to Norway with hate under their wings
Beasties Chunky-Flow Creepy Crime Life Politics Reaping-Grimly Religion Sad World • 3 Comments

Matt Damon gets testy for teachers
Politics • 1 Comments

Wednesday, August 03, 2011


Rep. Doug Lamborn likens Obama to "Tar Baby".
Politics • 0 Comments

Sunday, July 31, 2011


What other people's faces say about them…
Art Fluff Life Obama-rama! Politics • 0 Comments

Acid updropped
Creepy Crime Politics Religion World • 0 Comments

Thursday, July 28, 2011


World turned upside down: get a tongue lashing from your Bohner?
Creepy Fluff Money Politics • 0 Comments

Compelling reason to avoid Iowa for labor day
Creepy Politics Wretched • 0 Comments

Think US politics are messed up? Try the UK…
Politics World • 3 Comments

Thursday, July 21, 2011


Zombie Nazi rises from grave!
Creepy Politics Reaping-Grimly War • 0 Comments

Not all Repubs think like Sarah and Michelle and that dude on TV
Politics • 1 Comments

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Political discourse levels out with new Tea Party electees
Life Politics Sad • 0 Comments

Thursday, July 14, 2011


Minnesota: not a dry eye in the state, but maybe in the mouth
Booze/Pills/Candy Politics • 1 Comments

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


Who's responsible for the debt problem? Sometimes, it really IS okay to point fingers.
Politics • 2 Comments

Southern California dreams of succession
Life Politics • 1 Comments

Wednesday, July 06, 2011


Spitzer just can't hold a job, other than using his thumbs to gape a shitlicious sphincter
Business Katie-Couric Life Politics TV • 6 Comments

CA students textbooks to include details of contributions made by LGBT folks, which seems smart
Skool Fluff Politics Sex Wuv • 0 Comments

Sunday, June 26, 2011


Google still in the closet, but if you know the password it's tea bagging / coffee bagging galore!
Eat-Me! Fluff Foolhardy History Interactive Interwebs Katie-Couric Life Politics Sad Sex Wuv • 0 Comments

Saturday, June 25, 2011


Read the Bristol Palin auto-bio in 5 minutes or less
Books Booze/Pills/Candy Buy-Me! Fluff Politics • 2 Comments

Thursday, June 23, 2011


Libertarianism is such a bad idea that even its founder has had a change of heart
Politics • 0 Comments

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


They're not-so-great!
Fluff Health Life Obama-rama! Politics Sad • 3 Comments

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


Hitchens on Mamet (not literally)
Books Politics • 0 Comments

"I don't want to be a teacher anymore"
Skool Politics Work • 0 Comments

Saturday, June 18, 2011


Microsoft's takeover of Skype approved by asleep at wheel FTC
Business Geeky Nerd Life Politics • 3 Comments

"The Edge" loses the Malibu Costal Edge. First SpiderPan, now this?
Business Foolhardy Life Politics Review Sad Travel • 1 Comments

Thursday, June 16, 2011


US vows to "Capture and Kill" new al Queda leader - great to see we are on the path to peace already
Creepy Foolhardy History Politics Reaping-Grimly Sad Wretched War World • 6 Comments

New York Assembly increases number of people allowed to pursue happiness…
Today's-Super-Fun-Activity Fat-as-Fuck! Fluff Health Life Politics Sex • 0 Comments

The sadly inevitable headline: Ant Weiner steps down to "spend more time with his cock"
Politics Sad Sex Wretched • 10 Comments

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


"Love is not about sacrifice, it's about mutual self-serving" -- the Ayn Rand guide to dating+
Katie-Couric Politics Video Wuv • 1 Comments

Monday, June 13, 2011


Republicans embrace Six Sigma
Business Politics • 1 Comments

Thursday, June 09, 2011


Need work? Newt has a few new openings…
Newsflash! Politics Shocker! • 1 Comments

Wednesday, June 01, 2011


Troubled by insomnia? A cure is on the horizon.
Beasties Chunky-Flow Interwebs Politics • 0 Comments

Worst kept secret: Birthers don't just dislike Obama -- it's anyone with immigrant blood
Beasties Books History Obama-rama! Politics Sad Wretched • 0 Comments

Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Nepal census recognizes ladyboys (an I suppose gentgirls) as third gender. Read comments for batshit
Fat-as-Fuck! History Katie-Couric Life Politics Sex World • 0 Comments

Monday, May 30, 2011


Country fires one third of top police chiefs: guess which?
Conspiranoia Crime Life Politics • 0 Comments

Saturday, May 28, 2011


Rolling Stone sets Limbaugh ablaze
Foolhardy Politics Shocker! • 0 Comments

Friday, May 27, 2011


The case against the em dash… seriously?
Books Geeky Nerd Katie-Couric Politics • 2 Comments

Thursday, May 26, 2011


North Carolina won't even shake John Edwards' hand
Politics • 1 Comments

Afganistan war continues, but only by 11 votes
Politics Sad War World • 3 Comments

"we have confused our appetite for fun with a hunger for self-destruction"
Politics • 0 Comments

Scott Walker gets blown…
Politics • 2 Comments

Monday, May 23, 2011


If the Republicans lose in 2012, blame Roger Ailes
Politics TV • 2 Comments

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