Summer’s here, and so is filler TV, from Big Brother to Wife Swap. I won’t watch, not much anyway, but occasionally I will be just hungover enough.  What is it that’s so engrossing about a mother who is totally, totally shocked any woman would let her kids live that way, even as she’s just sent the one woman who would let-her-kids-live-that-way go mother her own? Hypocrisy, how much you entertain me when my stomach rumbles weakly and my foot swells biggish.

But America. We can do better. American Idol gets like thumpteen brazilian votes a show. The presidential polls, not so much. How better to get people to the voting booths than to merge Crossfire with So You Think You Can Dance? I present you with the following suggestions for your summer viewing pleasure:

Project Runway: Tim Gunn is skeeving Dick Cheney out, man! See Dick run with scissors. He’d better be careful: he didn’t purchase enough taffeta, and now he’s not got enough to cover Rumsfeld’s rump.  Meanwhile, Abramoff has been a bitch about the double stitcher, hogging that thing all day, and Ralph Reed is prancing around like a cat on a hot sand trap waiting to get his jersey knit swing skirt sewed up tight. Sexual tension mounts as Ralph prepares a surprise for Abramoff’s manikin.

ANTM: Condi Rice has been taking positively fierce photos, but she’ll have …

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