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Growing up in North Eastern Minnesota in the 1960s was quite different than anything people who grew up in the 70s and 80s of mainstream America had a chance to experience. And just so any FBI or DHS snoopers are monitoring this let me emphasize now: my father never taught me anything about the use of explosives.

My dad had a thing for blowing shit up. In those days, he would go to the local co-op or hardware store and buy dynamite and blasting caps on a fairly regular basis. He used it to remove stumps on our farm and the neighbors’ farms. He also was very adept at burying the huge glacial rocks that made plowing a field difficult. When he was drilling water wells, he could crack a bedrock shelf with a half stick, and hardly ever blew the casing 300 feet into the air (a totally awesome sight when it did happen).

In 1967, I was 14 and our neighbor Leo came over with his Farmall H tractor. We had two tractors, a Case VAC my dad used and a little Farmall A I puttered around on. It was the 3rd of July. My dad, convinced that indoor plumbing was here to stay, decided to rid the farm of the outhouse his father had built about twenty years earlier. Its important to point out that …

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Recent Writing:

Worlds worst lavatories

Rev. Dimmer

“There’s nothing more overrated than a bad fuck, and nothing more underrated than a good shit."—Billy Childish

I’ll agree. The sense of pure relief that a good long shit brings to a body is pure pleasure (unless of course of you have a bad case …

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Will a $25 Amazon gift certificate help?

Fat Jerry

Because you are all procastinators, and have yet to tell us your tale of a Halloween embarrassment, and because Fat Jerry has had a rare senior moment in which he forgot the deadline himself, Fat Jerry has taken it upon himself to extend the deadline one week. …

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I, Spendthrift

Lady Penelope

I blew three fuses this weekend running my AC units on turbo. Yes, its true. While I may bitch about the Hummers crowding the Taconic State Parkway, in the long run, I am a waster. A terrible waster. No thrift to me at all.

The …

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31 Comments

About that Pride Parade

Lady Penelope

Saturday was the culmination of Pride Week: you may have starred or celebrated in a parade near you, or you may have, like me, spent the afternoon keeping the vomit bucket happy, hoping beer would squash your nausea long enough to allow for karaoke (it did, until …

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Links

Friday, September 01, 2006


What are your plans for Labor Day Weekend?
Jerry-Up • 34 Comments

Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Please, you know they're just going to end up picking "My Humps" in the end (includes poll)
Jerry-Up Music Politics • 35 Comments

Monday, August 28, 2006


Top Cult Films: Add to this crappy list
Cinema Jerry-Up • 38 Comments

Friday, August 25, 2006


"A surprising omission is Hugh Laurie, despite licking the nut sacks of more sad old men than..."
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Thursday, August 24, 2006


15 tourist traps to avoid. Feel free to add your own. (more in comments)
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006


Naming your kid "Sharmonica" should be a criminal offense (more in comments)
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Monday, August 21, 2006


Tell us about your avatar
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Saturday, August 19, 2006


Time for you cat lovers to identify your cats!
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Thursday, August 17, 2006


It hurts worse to be told off in a foreign language. Let's at it!
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Wednesday, August 16, 2006


Jerry-up inspired by "ghost riding the whip": tell us about some dumb sh!t you did as a young 'un
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Tuesday, August 15, 2006


What movies did you love that slid under the radar?
Cinema Jerry-Up • 33 Comments

Monday, August 14, 2006


Let's reverse-engineer an image link (link title in comments)
Jerry-Up Pictures • 31 Comments

Sunday, August 13, 2006


Lady Penny has her own themesong!
Jerry-Up Music • 4 Comments

Friday, August 11, 2006


Share your pictures and anecdotes about your wee ones: pets, kids, leprechauns, etc.
Beasties Jerry-Up Pictures • 36 Comments

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Today's Jerry-up: Poetry challenge in the Nook (more in comments)
Jerry-Up Pictures Poetry • 0 Comments

Monday, August 07, 2006


The third official Fat Jerry survey
Jerry-Up • 61 Comments

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


Tell us about some particularly inventive, hilarious or just f*cked up excuses you've used
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Tuesday, August 01, 2006


In honor of MTV's 25th birthday, let's talk about favorite music videos
Jerry-Up Music • 37 Comments

Saturday, July 29, 2006


Where should you not bring your dog?
Beasties Jerry-Up • 5 Comments

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


What's your favorite pie? Do I need to qualify that?
Jerry-Up • 29 Comments

Thursday, July 20, 2006


What are your guilty pleasures?
Jerry-Up • 40 Comments

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


Fat Jerry's in a rut. Tell us about some books/ movies/ bands you've been enjoying recently
Advice Jerry-Up • 20 Comments

Friday, July 07, 2006


I think I found Bevets! He is hiding in an old Jewish Movie Theater!
Jerry-Up • 0 Comments

Thursday, July 06, 2006


100 movies with unintended homosexual subtexts, and other recommendations for future AFI lists
Cinema Jerry-Up • 11 Comments

Friday, June 30, 2006


How're you celebrating the four-day weekend? (link goes to first stop on my itinerary)
Jerry-Up • 21 Comments

Wednesday, June 28, 2006


I don’t envy Superman! Well maybe the x-ray vision… (what's your superwish?)
Jerry-Up • 7 Comments

Share your wedding horror stories with us: unfortunate dresses, ridiculous concepts, bad cake, etc.
Jerry-Up • 14 Comments

Friday, June 23, 2006


Really bad movie edits NOW ON DVD - no, wait, Blue-Ray.
Jerry-Up • 11 Comments

Thursday, June 22, 2006


What kind of pigsty did you grow up in?
Jerry-Up • 22 Comments

Classic movies it's okay to hate. Read the AV Club's list, then add your own in comments.
Cinema Jerry-Up • 23 Comments

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


It's the first day of summer. What are your plans for the season?
Jerry-Up • 19 Comments

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


My Most Private Sick Sexual Fantasy (as requested by Spazmo) (just words, but slightly NSFW)
Jerry-Up Sex • 12 Comments

What money making invention is the world better without?
Jerry-Up • 20 Comments

Monday, June 19, 2006


Let's play "Stump the NYPL!"
Jerry-Up Play-Me! • 4 Comments

Tell us about your coworker's ridiculous, inappropriate or just plain hideous outfits
Jerry-Up • 44 Comments

Sunday, June 18, 2006


It's faithers day y'bastardt
Art Jerry-Up Life • 4 Comments

Thursday, June 15, 2006


JerryUp: Bloomsday Photo Gallery
Art Jerry-Up Pictures • 47 Comments

Jeopardy, Fat Jerry Style. (more in comments)
Jerry-Up • 26 Comments

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Tell them your regrets, then tell us the regrets they didn't ask about
Jerry-Up Play-Me! • 4 Comments

Thursday, June 08, 2006


JerryUp: What were some of your favorite toys and games when you were a kid? (link goes to video)
Jerry-Up • 47 Comments

Thursday, June 01, 2006


JerryUp: Things you need to be told
Jerry-Up • 16 Comments

Wednesday, May 31, 2006


JerryUp: The unfinished book club (link goes to The Onion AV Club article)
Jerry-Up • 13 Comments

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


What goes into a perfect sandwich?
Eat-Me! Jerry-Up • 43 Comments

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