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Fat Jerry
Darkness, not at noon

rev. dimmer

“Don’t fancy yours much...” Roy says, nudging me hard in the ribs, his playful physicality overdubbed with four too many “Rolling Rock"s. “...nor mine, really.” There are two girls ahead of us. He’s right. We watch a bouncer eject a drugged-up older guy who has been flashing his penis on the dance floor and is now objecting loudly that he did no such thing. It’s clear that he is in the no-mans land, where he thinks bouncers can be reasoned with (not true), but knows that after ten pm he will not be allowed to enter any other drinking establishment (true). This is not his night, and he is tossed almost casually out in to the dreickt (see glossary below) evening street, genitals glistening under street lamp light. I start to wonder why you’d show your cock on the dance floor, of all places? To watch it jig? I quickly end those thoughts. A child of Morrissey, I know my genitals look like some grotesque, shameful, vile joke gone wrong. “Prity thing you is ugly and you is ment to hide.” as Billy Childish wrote.

In mid-80’s Glasgow street crime curfew is all the rage—while the bars can stay open ‘till midnight and the ‘niteclubs’ (ugh) ‘till three am, you can’t enter either after ten pm. Constant police patrols wander the city centre to ensure these rules are kept, while ignoring the clashes between the …

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balderdash

She’s Bi-Polar, Roy.

That’s what we heard Allen say, but he was reading the CVS Pharmacy sale flyer which said “Buy Polaroid 600 film, get 2nd package ½ price”. The mind hears what it wants to, and She’s Bi-Polar fit better with my train of …

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I have a lot of stomach troubles as you by now know. If I eat this or that, something can go wrong, and I am frequently nauseated for a spell. I am not feeling well now, though I am better than yesterday, but worse than this morning. …

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Links

Friday, September 03, 2010


Russians urged to smoke, drink
Booze/Pills/Candy World • 1 Comments

Wednesday, September 01, 2010


Even heavy drinkers live longer
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Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Watch out for your coke stash, junkies
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Thursday, August 19, 2010


Whisky: is there anything it can't cure? +
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Tuesday, August 03, 2010


We're all a bunch of drunks
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Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Attention Hipsters: do not order PBR in Shanghai
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Friday, July 09, 2010


Introducing a new Cary Grant!
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Tuesday, July 06, 2010


A history of Diet Coke, fuel of the Gods
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Friday, July 02, 2010


Words for wine when you haven't got any
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Thursday, July 01, 2010


People who suppress anger become violent drunks
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Wednesday, June 30, 2010


I've been looking for this great article a long time: Opium Made Easy (Michael Pollan)
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Tuesday, June 29, 2010


AA: it works, but how?
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Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Why do all drugs list the same side effects?
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Monday, June 07, 2010


Strike up a doobie in Jersey--if you follow all the rules
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Thursday, May 20, 2010


There's a reason chefs get the munchies
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Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Obviously you're new at this....
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Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Global warming leads to remarkable English sparkling wine. Yes, I said English.
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Monday, April 26, 2010


Unemployed drunks get a special place in Germany
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Thursday, April 08, 2010


I need how many cups of coffee to commit suicide?
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Monday, March 29, 2010


Drink up, students
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Saturday, March 27, 2010


Are your showers medicating the fish?
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Monday, March 22, 2010


After drinking, no cooking
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Monday, March 08, 2010


Wine is good for the waist
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Thursday, February 11, 2010


Get that night-before breath the morning after
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Friday, February 05, 2010


There is nothing like a little bit of quality father/daughter time.
Booze/Pills/Candy Fat-as-Fuck! • 0 Comments

Tuesday, February 02, 2010


Hey, those antidepressants you're taking? Less effective than a sugar pill. Or chocolate.
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Friday, January 22, 2010


Burger King adds beer to the menu at planned Whopper Bars
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Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Got Jugs? Get Booze!
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Friday, January 15, 2010


"I'm not the man they think they I am at home. Oh no no no I'm a rocket man ..."
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Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Court orders cops to give dude back his sh!tload of pot
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Synth. booze may end hangover/addiction, but what fun is it unless I forget where I left my pants?
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Friday, January 08, 2010


I'm going on zapoi, everyone, see you in a week
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Monday, January 04, 2010


NYC bashed for it's handy-dandy heroin guide
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Tuesday, December 08, 2009


SSRIs not only lift moods but change personality: a new you for the holidays!
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Monday, December 07, 2009


Playing chicken at airport security
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Wednesday, December 02, 2009


What the Harvard-Yale game is like
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Monday, November 30, 2009


Best wishes to the Hasselhoff kids
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Dock Ellis & the LSD no-no
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Thursday, November 19, 2009


Opium dens, San Francisco 1889
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Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Oy vey
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Monday, November 16, 2009


Because somebody ought to drink it: regarding the recovery of Ernest Shackleton's scotch
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Friday, November 13, 2009


Another thing you don't need, or do need, depending how you look at it
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Tuesday, November 03, 2009


Russia tries to rein in the vodka
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Monday, November 02, 2009


Name your stash
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Thursday, October 29, 2009


Nothing conveys trust like a dog at home, at work, at school.
Beasties Booze/Pills/Candy Business Fat-Jerry • 0 Comments

Thursday, October 22, 2009


Minnesota man gets DUI on motorized La-Z-Boy. "The ladies loved him."
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Employment opportunity: US newspaper seeks pot critic
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Friday, October 16, 2009


Drunkest guy ever gets more beer (courtesy of Rumproast)
Booze/Pills/Candy Funny-Ha-Ha Video • 0 Comments

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Alcohol: apply directly to the brain injury
Booze/Pills/Candy • 1 Comments

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Duh.
Art Booze/Pills/Candy • 0 Comments

Friday, September 18, 2009


"The Coolest Woman Alive!"
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Monday, September 14, 2009


The fake pharmacopeia to conquer all your symptoms
Booze/Pills/Candy • 1 Comments

Tuesday, September 01, 2009


Quietly last week, Mexico in an historic, enlightened, humane move, legalized personal drug use
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Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Meth just got easier to make (and more likely to explode in your face)
Booze/Pills/Candy Crime • 1 Comments

La Paz, Bolivia sports a movable feast of white powder: tourists, meet the cocaine bar
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Pick your poison
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Friday, July 31, 2009


Japanese launch refreshing blue beer made from melting iceberg
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Thursday, July 30, 2009


White House beer summit becomes something of a brouhaha
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Friday, July 24, 2009


Mexican drug lords have inneresting names
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Thursday, July 23, 2009


Californians start taxing marijuana
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Friday, July 17, 2009


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Thursday, July 16, 2009


See, it was torture, because they didn't give him time to enjoy the fine ale ...
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Here's how your social security money is being spent
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