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Fat Jerry
Darkness, not at noon

Rev. Dimmer

“Don’t fancy yours much...” Roy says, nudging me hard in the ribs, his playful physicality overdubbed with four too many “Rolling Rock"s. “...nor mine, really.” There are two girls ahead of us. He’s right. We watch a bouncer eject a drugged-up older guy who has been flashing his penis on the dance floor and is now objecting loudly that he did no such thing. It’s clear that he is in the no-mans land, where he thinks bouncers can be reasoned with (not true), but knows that after ten pm he will not be allowed to enter any other drinking establishment (true). This is not his night, and he is tossed almost casually out in to the dreickt (see glossary below) evening street, genitals glistening under street lamp light. I start to wonder why you’d show your cock on the dance floor, of all places? To watch it jig? I quickly end those thoughts. A child of Morrissey, I know my genitals look like some grotesque, shameful, vile joke gone wrong. “Prity thing you is ugly and you is ment to hide.” as Billy Childish wrote.

In mid-80’s Glasgow street crime curfew is all the rage—while the bars can stay open ‘till midnight and the ‘niteclubs’ (ugh) ‘till three am, you can’t enter either after ten pm. Constant police patrols wander the city centre to ensure these rules are kept, while ignoring the clashes between the …

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That’s what we heard Allen say, but he was reading the CVS Pharmacy sale flyer which said “Buy Polaroid 600 film, get 2nd package ½ price”. The mind hears what it wants to, and She’s Bi-Polar fit better with my train of …

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I have a lot of stomach troubles as you by now know. If I eat this or that, something can go wrong, and I am frequently nauseated for a spell. I am not feeling well now, though I am better than yesterday, but worse than this morning. …

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Links

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


La Paz, Bolivia sports a movable feast of white powder: tourists, meet the cocaine bar
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Pick your poison
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Friday, July 31, 2009


Japanese launch refreshing blue beer made from melting iceberg
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Thursday, July 30, 2009


White House beer summit becomes something of a brouhaha
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Friday, July 24, 2009


Mexican drug lords have inneresting names
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Thursday, July 23, 2009


Californians start taxing marijuana
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Friday, July 17, 2009


If you own a fridge just for beer, can't say I'm surprised you forgot where you put your cat...
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Thursday, July 16, 2009


See, it was torture, because they didn't give him time to enjoy the fine ale ...
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Here's how your social security money is being spent
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Sunday, July 05, 2009


Beer festival runs out of, um, beer
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Thursday, July 02, 2009


Diary from a recovering alcoholic
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Friday, June 19, 2009


Banding together for a great cause
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Sashimi anyone?
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009


The nuns are after me!
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Saturday, June 06, 2009


DC is No. 1! DC is No. 1!
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Wednesday, June 03, 2009


Puritans, drunkards, and the problem of intoxication
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Monday, June 01, 2009


Tom Sizemore... keepin it real
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Friday, May 29, 2009


How do you hold your glass?
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Thursday, May 28, 2009


You'll need more then a screwdriver to get into there buddy...
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Till death do us part
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Friday, May 22, 2009


“Rx vs. XXX.”
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Our future may involve more pee-cups
Booze/Pills/Candy Work • 8 Comments

Monday, May 11, 2009


FloriDUH
Booze/Pills/Candy Foolhardy • 1 Comments

Friday, May 08, 2009


Manny Ramirez suspended from MLB for trying to get pregnant? +
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Thursday, May 07, 2009


Kiefer Sutherland does a real life Jack B. for unknown reasons.
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Friday, April 24, 2009


Jim Webb puts marijuana legalization on the table
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Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Baghdad rediscovers old pleasures, like scotch and valium
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I say 'Show us your tits!' BELCH!
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Sunday, April 19, 2009


You are what you drink
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Tuesday, April 07, 2009


This could present a pretty big problem
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Friday, April 03, 2009


Moms gone wild...
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Wednesday, April 01, 2009


Man charged with drunken driving on bar stool
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Sunday, March 29, 2009


Why can't stoners at least be original in their interior decoration?
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Thursday, March 19, 2009


Oh, quit hammering on about your Guinness Stout and just drink the damn thing
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Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Erin Go Braless!
Booze/Pills/Candy Religion • 1 Comments

Monday, March 16, 2009


Because the alchys around here need all the help they can get +
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Saturday, March 14, 2009


Three deer make a beer run
Beasties Booze/Pills/Candy • 0 Comments

Friday, March 13, 2009


He's "a good kid" who was trying to help people in need
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Tuesday, March 10, 2009


Guys just aren't into drunk girls
Booze/Pills/Candy Science Sex • 12 Comments

Sunday, March 08, 2009


Non-shocker of the day: Wall Street traders snort coke on a Friday after work
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The Economist decides that drug prohibition has failed
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Friday, March 06, 2009


I'm sorry... so sorry...
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Tuesday, March 03, 2009


All in the Family 2009
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Rationale to never visit Scotland #3,213,123
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The story of the man who thought he was smarter than the cops.
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Sunday, March 01, 2009


You can tax our smokes, but keep your hands off our pr0n!
Booze/Pills/Candy Business Politics • 0 Comments

Friday, February 27, 2009


B.A.C. as measured by what was worn to bed
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Thursday, February 26, 2009


The Snuggie pub crawl, coming to a city near you.
Booze/Pills/Candy Fat-as-Fuck! Fluff • 12 Comments

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Bong blamed for fire at fraternity
Booze/Pills/Candy Whoops! • 6 Comments

Monday, February 23, 2009


Some good could come out of this recession after all.
Booze/Pills/Candy Money Politics • 0 Comments

Friday, February 20, 2009


Actor who played steroid dealer in The Wrestler arrested for dealing, well, steroids
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Monday, February 16, 2009


Never fear Fat Jerry again (even though you should)
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Thursday, February 12, 2009


Ecstasy's long-term health effects to be as lame as the last rave
Booze/Pills/Candy • 3 Comments

Sunday, February 08, 2009


Thank God I quit smoking; cigarettes in Manhattan cost over $10 a pack
Booze/Pills/Candy Money • 5 Comments

Whiff of change in US medical marijuana policy
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Wednesday, February 04, 2009


Passengers demand Russian pilot's vodka
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Notorious moonshiner "Popcorn" Sutton gets prison term after fed bust
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Tuesday, February 03, 2009


Gary Collins might want to hire a driver
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Monday, February 02, 2009


Phelps busted for acting his age
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Sunday, February 01, 2009


CIA station chief fails to CYA as he rapes and rapes and rapes... Idiot.
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Forget vodka, the tasting elite can't tell shit from shinola either.
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Friday, January 30, 2009


The runaway Groom
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Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Lord God I'm a Sinner! +
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