Log In Register About Fat Jerry Submit Search Members
Fat Jerry
Toe nail clipper

flock

A. found a collection of items on the driveway this morning: one caster wheel, a roll of paper towels, some electric cable zip ties, a toe nail clipper, some screwdriver bits, a lock tumbler, a valve housing and a few fittings, a spark plug, a few drywall screws, a dental hook thingy, and other seemingly random items. Since we’d risk puncturing our tires if we were to drive over the screws, I bagged up all the flotsam and jetsam and tossed them into the trashcan outside. About a half-an-hour later, a guy rang the doorbell and asked me where all the stuff from the driveway had disappeared to. Another shorter more agitated dude then walked up and asked if I’d seen a toolbox and a wheeled cart. Apparently the shorter guy had gotten into a Valentine’s Day quarrel with his lady friend last night, and this led to a select portion of his possessions being strewn about on our driveway.

They were insistent on getting back the stuff I’d thrown out, and I assured them that it wasn’t a problem and that I’d come out to get it for them. They started to repeat that they really needed the stuff, and I interrupted rather grouchily, “DUDE! I’m coming out!” I bent down to slip on my shoes, and when I stood up they’d disappeared around the corner and they had started helping themselves to the …

MORE...

6 Comments


Other Fun Stuff

Confused? Check out the following:

What is Fat Jerry

I have questions about Fat Jerry (FAQ)

Can you explain these Categories?



Recent Writing:


Recent Comments

Wealth is akin to mass I guess. Once you get enough of it, more…

Say what you want about Jane, but I’d still try to do her. …

How can people so full of hatred and stupidity accumulate so much wealth? …

See! That’s what happens when a society lets homosexuality run rampant in the bedrooms.…

Baby take your teeth out, as Frank Zappa might say. Except that he’s dead.…

Indeed. But you’d think that they had access to software modeling tools which would…

Boat builders were (and are) very skilled artisans. It takes years to learn all…

Our first computer ... my father bought it from my brother-in-law, who worked doing…

My boss told me this past week, after I requested more employees, “you can’t…

I’d at least go for a French Poodle or something. Something that is less…

I started on a TI-99/4A. That was great fun, but not to compatible with…

Some men can’t get a woman, so what are the alternatives?

Way to go O!

When my kids were kids, we made weekly trips to the library. I would…

I was going for 5 stars out of 5 stars.

…

Because I’ve been a computer user since before I was born, I joined the…

Takes guts (or stupidity) to take a leak on electrics that, even if unplugged,…

Get that Joe Biden out of my rectum?

Yup. Although most religious texts can also apply.

the Holly Bibble fer instance?



Links

Monday, January 18, 2010


Let's talk about sex. With Warren Buffett.
Creepy Sex • 0 Comments

Thursday, January 14, 2010


Auto-appendectomy in the Antarctic
Creepy • 2 Comments

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


A foray into Scientology gets the journalist booted out
Creepy • 0 Comments

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Can you get to Heaven in a WalMart casket?
Buy-Me! Creepy Wretched • 0 Comments

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Oh, where to begin with how creepy this is
Creepy • 0 Comments

Thank Bob Clark +
Creepy Crime Funny-Ha-Ha • 0 Comments

Monday, October 26, 2009


The most "what the...?" video ever.
Beasties Cats Creepy Crime Sex Video • 0 Comments

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


We're all going to die #4917
Creepy Health • 0 Comments

Friday, October 16, 2009


In case your dying wish is to see the bones of Mary Magdalene*, book your NYC trip now +
Creepy History Religion • 0 Comments

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Because everybody needs somebody to cuddle with
Creepy Reaping-Grimly • 0 Comments

Friday, October 02, 2009


I wouldn't buy this calendar even if all the female models were naked.
Creepy Fat-as-Fuck! Foolhardy Pictures • 0 Comments

Friday, September 18, 2009


Are you 'Dead Tired' when you get home from work? Here is the couch for you. +
Buy-Me! Creepy Fat-as-Fuck! Pictures • 0 Comments

Wednesday, September 09, 2009


Police arrive to find that man isn't dead, just dirty
Creepy • 0 Comments

Monday, September 07, 2009


I think they found the guy who's name cannot be mentioned.
Creepy Crime Fat-as-Fuck! • 0 Comments

Friday, September 04, 2009


Organic Wines: Same Old Shit
Creepy Eat-Me! • 0 Comments

Thursday, September 03, 2009


Chupacabras in Texas, where's Dick Cheney? +
Beasties Creepy • 2 Comments

Friday, August 21, 2009


Look up your local hate groups
Creepy Interactive • 2 Comments

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


What is it with Missouri women cyberbullying teenage girls?
Creepy Interwebs Sex Wretched • 0 Comments

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Pick your poison
Booze/Pills/Candy Creepy World • 0 Comments

Monday, August 17, 2009


Octomom ain't nothin'
Creepy • 11 Comments

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Finding Shakespeare at last?
Books Creepy History Reaping-Grimly • 0 Comments

Sunday, August 09, 2009


Are you smarter than a slime mold?
Creepy Fluff Geeky Nerd Shocker! • 0 Comments

Friday, August 07, 2009


More on the creepy breastfeeding doll that Gloveshot pointed out in the Cooler
Creepy • 0 Comments

Wednesday, August 05, 2009


Psycho goes loose on gym aerobics class
Creepy Crime Sad • 3 Comments

Saturday, August 01, 2009


Bugger me! Neigh!
Beasties Creepy Crime • 1 Comments

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Peter Pan is a married man -- ladies, calm yourselves +
Creepy Wuv • 0 Comments

Thursday, July 23, 2009


The government has a database for everything
Creepy Life • 0 Comments

Sunday, July 19, 2009


A museum that ain't quite okay for work situations.
Art Creepy Fluff Pictures • 0 Comments

Thursday, July 16, 2009


We welcome our new robot overlords! As long as they don't eat us.
Creepy War • 0 Comments

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


We're all going to die #327
Beasties Creepy Health Wretched • 0 Comments

Monday, July 13, 2009


WTF Taxidermy
Creepy • 0 Comments

Saturday, July 11, 2009


Major league ballplayers are p*ssies
Creepy • 0 Comments

Thursday, June 25, 2009


Want to pretty up your crappy face? Apply some berd crap.
Advice Creepy Health Katie-Couric • 1 Comments

Tuesday, June 09, 2009


A Fat Jerry moment like no other +
Creepy Fat-as-Fuck! Fat-Jerry Foolhardy Life Sex Wretched • 5 Comments

Thursday, June 04, 2009


Now ladies can just go and go and go
Creepy Health • 7 Comments

Monday, June 01, 2009


Things that Drs. once used. (not recommended for office viewing)
Creepy Foolhardy Pictures Sex Wretched • 4 Comments

Friday, May 29, 2009


So the bite mark on her neck was a freebee?
Creepy Crime Wretched • 1 Comments

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Mel Gibson comes again...
Beasties Creepy Sex • 5 Comments

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Catholic Church ignored the sexual abuse of thousands of children by priests in Ireland for 60 years
Creepy Crime Religion Sex • 0 Comments

Monday, May 18, 2009


"My daddy ate my eyes."
Creepy Crime Wretched • 0 Comments

Friday, May 08, 2009


Ford goes for the patriotic/rebel approach to sell cars. Is this good or bad? (wmv download)+
Business Creepy Sad Video Wretched War • 0 Comments

Tuesday, May 05, 2009


Trying to kick the morning coffee habit? This might help.
Advice Conspiranoia Creepy • 0 Comments

Friday, April 24, 2009


'Jigsaw' murder
Creepy Crime • 0 Comments

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Murder? (polo ponies tragedy in Florida) +
Beasties Conspiranoia Creepy Crime • 6 Comments

Meghan McCain outs Karl Rove as 'twitter creep'
Creepy Interwebs Politics • 0 Comments

Sunday, April 19, 2009


We must have linked to this already: if you can bite the tip from your own penis, why rape a 13 y.o.
Creepy Crime Eat-Me! • 1 Comments

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Last chance to buy Michael Jackson's crap ... oh wait, never mind +
Buy-Me! Creepy Whoops! • 0 Comments

Wednesday, April 08, 2009


What did you expect? It's Florida...
Creepy Crime Wretched • 0 Comments

Friday, April 03, 2009


Moms gone wild...
Booze/Pills/Candy Creepy Crime Sex • 0 Comments

Thursday, April 02, 2009


The ‘Creepy van man’
Creepy Sex Video • 4 Comments

Friday, March 27, 2009


Be very careful at lunch: Willard Scott inducing children to eat as the first Ronald McDonald
Creepy History TV Video • 3 Comments

Thursday, March 26, 2009


Sarah Palin has links to scientology!
Creepy Politics • 0 Comments

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Lucky boy in Africa to get whacky new dad (comes with circus)
Creepy • 0 Comments

Monday, March 23, 2009


Teacher arrested for "applying lotion" in classroom.
Creepy Crime Foolhardy Pictures Sex • 0 Comments

Thursday, March 19, 2009


It's a sick world after all! +
Beasties Business Creepy Crime • 3 Comments

Monday, March 16, 2009


M&Ms collectible babies scare me with their cold, dead eyes and colorful onesies.
Buy-Me! Creepy • 1 Comments

Friday, March 13, 2009


Woman looks at a Sawz-all and thinks "mmmm"
Creepy Sex Whoops! • 2 Comments

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


"You never give me smoochy kisses anymore."
Creepy Wretched Wuv • 2 Comments

Sunday, March 08, 2009


Forget flogging a dead horse, try balling a dead goat...
Beasties Creepy Gossip Politics Sad Sex • 3 Comments

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Nuke Your Town
Creepy Play-Me! • 0 Comments

10 bodies buried west of Albuquerque
Creepy Crime Reaping-Grimly • 1 Comments

Monday, February 23, 2009


Simon Cowell will never die, he will only freeze for a while
Creepy • 0 Comments

Sunday, February 22, 2009


Jordan Brown boarded the bus and headed to school like he does most other mornings
Creepy Crime Reaping-Grimly • 1 Comments

Page 3 of 12 pages « First  <  1 2 3 4 5 >  Last »

Today's Fat Jerry

How Fat Jerry is this? Rate It.

Got a photo of Fat Jerry? Maybe we'd like to see it.


Today's Poll

What does Fat Jerry have that nobody else wants?
Velvet elvis
Velvet elves
Moobs
An EDTV
"The Idiots Guide to Relationships"
A naked Tom Hanks
Indiana
Swine flu
"Jermaine Jackson" (by Jermaine Jackson)
Jermaine Jackson
Gas
One of those ugly choo-choo train conductor hats that girls sometimes wear
A brighter tomorrow
Another goddamn excuse

Do you have an idea for a Fat Jerry Poll? Let us know! 


Chill out!

Feeling warm?
Step inside The Cooler


Statistics

Page Views: 3380830
Page rendered in 2.2297 seconds
64 queries executed
Debug mode is on
Total Entries: 19584
Total Comments: 65897
Total Trackbacks: 192766
Most Recent Entry: 05/13/2012 01:27 pm
Most Recent Comment on: 05/17/2012 10:40 pm
Total Members: 464
Total Logged in members: 0
Total guests: 13
Total anonymous users: 0
Most Recent Visitor on: 05/18/2012 05:30 pm
Most visitors ever: 245 on 08/22/2009 10:33 pm


Categories


  • The-"D"-Word
  • Today's-Super-Fun-Activity
  • Advice
  • ANTM
  • Art
  • Beasties
  • Books
  • Booze/Pills/Candy
  • Business
  • Buy-Me!
  • Cats
  • Chunky-Flow
  • Cinema
  • Conspiranoia
  • Creepy
  • Skool
  • Crime
  • Eat-Me!
  • Fat-as-Fuck!
  • Fat-Jerry
  • Fluff
  • Foolhardy
  • Funny-Ha-Ha
  • Geeky Nerd
  • Gossip
  • Green
  • Health
  • History
  • Interactive
  • Interwebs
  • Jerry-Up
  • Katie-Couric
  • Life
  • Lists
  • Money
  • Music
  • Obama-rama!
  • Newsflash!
  • Pinch-Me!
  • Pish-Takes
  • Play-Me!
  • Pictures
  • Poetry
  • Politics
  • Quiz
  • Rags
  • Reaping-Grimly
  • Religion
  • Review
  • Robot
  • ROTM
  • Sad
  • Science
  • Sex
  • Sir-Edward
  • Shocker!
  • Sport
  • Travel
  • TV
  • Update
  • Video
  • Wretched
  • War
  • Whoops!
  • Work
  • World
  • Wuv

Rate Me on Eatonweb Portal - Blog Directory
bad enh so so good excellent

Top Entertainment Blogs

Bloggeries Blog Directory

Blogarama - The Blogs Directory

Listed on BlogShares

RSS Links

RSS Your Daily Bread

Hosted by pmachine

Copyright Fat Jerry 2008