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You have a bridge to sell? What do you know, Dad was just looking for one

Lady Penelope

This morning Parker emailed me, “There are times to be gracious in victory. That said, I hope you spend most of today sending e-mails to your dad.” My father’s the kind of guy with lots of wisdom to give, if wisdom smells like horseshit. He likes to let everyone argue their points out about politics, watch their voices rally and raise and then, when somebody’s near tears, lift his finger and say, in a quieter voice, “Listen.” He is a man convinced of his own underdog genius.

When I was younger, I bought into it. I even enjoyed rallying with him, taking the opposite side (whether or not I believed in it), to engage in a spirited but convivial discussion of politics of the day. Communism, is it bad? Do the homeless really want to be homeless? But after a time, the myth he’d made for himself could no longer sustain disbelief.

After all, it is with this quiet, patient, determined, old-man-on-the-mountain manner he has delivered the following pearls (warning, some of this is racist and rottenly offensive):

  • The Japanese are trying to destroy America by moving their families over, ruining their homes, and destroying our property values. When our property values go, our economy goes with it. And because they’re taking all our jobs, we won’t be able to buy new houses. That’s their plan.
  • Global warming isn’t happening, it’s just …

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Recent Writing:

THE MCLAUGHLIN GROUP DOES THE AMERICAS, and a Few Other Continents Inbetween: Reality TV Proposals

Lady Penelope

Summer’s here, and so is filler TV, from Big Brother to Wife Swap. I won’t watch, not much anyway, but occasionally I will be just hungover enough.  What is it that’s so engrossing about a mother who is totally, totally shocked any woman would let her kids …

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Can we blame Bill?

Lady Penelope

Here we are counting down the last 2 1/2 years of this presidency, 29% of us high enough to still be satisfied with things. But for the rest of us, I ask the following:

How much of this is Clinton’s fault?

Recently, …

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Links

Monday, February 06, 2012


Newsflash: Newt wins Presidential Election, loves puppies, never been married, cares about others…
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Party over
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Saturday, February 04, 2012


Also shocking: White House doesn't know why it had guests at party…
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Shocker: Mitt Romney admits he knows shit about dirt
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Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Eye of Newt blind to copyright
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Saturday, January 21, 2012


Don't map with Texas
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Wednesday, January 18, 2012


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Friday, December 30, 2011


All hail the champion of the double standard!
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Thursday, December 29, 2011


Gay Pride: (n) Taking responsibility for the effect of your lifestyle+
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Monday, December 19, 2011


Kim on feel the silenze
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Sunday, December 18, 2011


Saturday's kids
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Saturday, December 17, 2011


The worst pundits in America
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Sunday, December 11, 2011


Why do all the GOP Presidential candidates look like idiots?
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Tuesday, December 06, 2011


Newt plays his Regain moment -- may live to forget it
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A little late for the "Cain Do!" party
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I can't believe it's a Haliburton lie
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Thursday, December 01, 2011


Ron Paul steps up to take a kick at an easy target
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Wednesday, November 30, 2011


An Egypt story that may fail to bring a tear to the eye
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Brits oot fur the, well, pensions and shite
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Tuesday, November 29, 2011


Cain may not be able…
Beasties Politics Sex Shocker! • 4 Comments

Thursday, November 24, 2011


UC Davis has upgrade the curriculum catalog!
Fat-as-Fuck! Funny-Ha-Ha Politics • 0 Comments

Saturday, November 12, 2011


Careful with those tweets Eugene! or Birgitta! or Anyone!
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Watching the Republican extended ad this evening? Keep in mind, suicide still painless
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Kochs are Kunts -- a family history
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Thursday, November 10, 2011


I izz bein yo Mayor now, bitches! 18 year old wins in Iowa with 24 write in votes
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Thursday, October 27, 2011


Finally, Cain makes sense!
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Wednesday, October 26, 2011


Oakland police finally seen on streets! Sadly, not making them safer.
The-"D"-Word Beasties Crime History Money Politics • 1 Comments

Imbecilic schmear of OWS as anti-semitic fails to stick
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Monday, October 24, 2011


WikiLeaks drained…
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Sunday, October 23, 2011


Does Cain play SimCity to come up with his "ideas"?
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Occupy Wall Street twice as popular as the Tea Party
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Monday, October 17, 2011


Why Wall Street hates Obama - a simple, but cogent reason
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Newsmax interviews Roger Ailes "The most powerful man in news." I dare you to read it. +
Money Politics Wretched • 1 Comments

California Dreaming
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Saturday, October 15, 2011


A movie to look forward to. Even if it's a bummer.
Books Cinema Politics Science • 2 Comments

Victoria Jackson bizarrely posts video of herself getting hosed @ Occupy Wall Street on her own blog
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Friday, October 07, 2011


The Tea Party vs. Alexander Hamilton
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Powell bites back
Politics • 0 Comments

Saturday, October 01, 2011


Preacher don't preach ... politics
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Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Irish Presidential Race heats up, 7 candidates, & Ezra Yitzhak raped a boy of 15...
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Tuesday, September 20, 2011


WTF? "Poll: Fox News Best TV News Network say Americans"
The-"D"-Word History Katie-Couric Life Politics Wretched Whoops! • 0 Comments

If everything still sucks come election time…
The-"D"-Word Obama-rama! Politics • 6 Comments

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Nascar intends Obama no disrespect, they're just really really really busy driving around in circles
Katie-Couric Politics • 2 Comments

Saturday, September 10, 2011


"Rudie Says: Don't Relax!"
Beasties Creepy Crime Politics Sad • 0 Comments

Wednesday, August 31, 2011


One of these people is the President, the other isn't. Who should be in charge?
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A religious, Republican candidate for 2012 who might actually be good / smart?
Business Pinch-Me! Politics Religion • 3 Comments

Monday, August 29, 2011


Bachmann's "Message from God" re. Irene was just for "Jest" - death toll now at 35
Beasties Booze/Pills/Candy Chunky-Flow Creepy History Politics Reaping-Grimly Update • 2 Comments

Sunday, August 28, 2011


Who needs designers (or people with even a little taste) anyway? A bumper sticker…
Crime Politics Wretched • 2 Comments

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Run down of the implausible, unelectable candidates (AKA, your new Boss in 2012)
Beasties Booze/Pills/Candy Politics • 1 Comments

Monday, August 22, 2011


Perry shares the wealth
Money Politics Wretched • 0 Comments

Thursday, August 18, 2011


Rick Perry -- ancillary to the whole jobs thing in Texas, not the cause of it
Politics • 4 Comments

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


If your to be born in San Francisco, yank back real hard on your dick and they may not mutilate you
Chunky-Flow Creepy Fluff Health Katie-Couric Life Pinch-Me! Politics Religion Sad Sex Wretched Whoops! • 0 Comments

First Presidential bollox transplant shows early signs of taking hold
Fat-as-Fuck! Obama-rama! Newsflash! Politics • 1 Comments

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Caution: Facebook can lead to four year jail sentences
Advice Creepy Crime Interwebs Politics • 1 Comments

Friday, August 12, 2011


Everything you need to know about that crazy Michelle Bachmann
Politics • 6 Comments

Sunday, August 07, 2011


GOP doesn't just hate the poor, they hate the damn planet
Business Crime Health History Life Politics Wretched • 0 Comments

Don't recall seeing any of these around here…
Crime History Life Politics Reaping-Grimly Sad Wretched War World • 3 Comments

If you are going to San Francisco, make sure you are a whiny little sod
Life Lists Politics Sad • 4 Comments

Thursday, August 04, 2011


Sick freaks go international: Westboro baptist church heads to Norway with hate under their wings
Beasties Chunky-Flow Creepy Crime Life Politics Reaping-Grimly Religion Sad World • 3 Comments

Matt Damon gets testy for teachers
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Wednesday, August 03, 2011


Rep. Doug Lamborn likens Obama to "Tar Baby".
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Sunday, July 31, 2011


What other people's faces say about them…
Art Fluff Life Obama-rama! Politics • 0 Comments

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