Log In Register About Fat Jerry Submit Search Members
Fat Jerry
Good Egg, bad eggs

Lady Penelope

Egg is small, much smaller than before. Boney. She doesn’t fight much when I put her in her travel bag, a worthless black leatherette shoulderstrap doohicky with pink trim, a pink inset paw and the monogrammed letters C, A, T, in case I forget what I’m carrying. She meows, something she doesn’t often do. I would like to have slept longer but I have to get back by noon to start working (overtime). The cab ride is jerky and strange. I’ve never been in a cab with my pet before. Poor Egg, clearly I am overreacting.

At the ASPCA, the elevator opens to a room filled with dogs, cats, almost every seat occupied. Barking, talking: it’s noisy and I can feel Egg squirming beneath my arm. The receptionist takes my information. What’s wrong with your cat? She’s not eating enough, she’s lost weight. Has she been spayed? Yes. How did you hear about us? I’m a member, but not now because I didn’t have money to renew. You’re a member then. But I’m not right now. That’s okay, I’ll just put Member. Is there anyone else who might seek treatment for Egg? Parker. When was she born? December 1, 1993. Did you get her at the ASPCA? Yes, but in Richmond. Breed? Her mom’s Siamese, but she’s black. Black DSH. Okay, here’s your card, sit down.

My card lists Egg’s …

MORE...

19 Comments


Other Fun Stuff

Confused? Check out the following:

What is Fat Jerry

I have questions about Fat Jerry (FAQ)

Can you explain these Categories?



Recent Writing:

Notes on the 2006 Preakness

Lady Penelope

I head down to the OTB a little late, and stammer, as usual, over my bet. The thing is, I have to do a Triple-Crown-prospect Barbaro trifecta, but I have this snaking feeling about Bernardini. Its just a hunch but I believe in intuition (think …

MORE...

15 Comments


Recent Comments

Wealth is akin to mass I guess. Once you get enough of it, more…

Say what you want about Jane, but I’d still try to do her. …

How can people so full of hatred and stupidity accumulate so much wealth? …

See! That’s what happens when a society lets homosexuality run rampant in the bedrooms.…

Baby take your teeth out, as Frank Zappa might say. Except that he’s dead.…

Indeed. But you’d think that they had access to software modeling tools which would…

Boat builders were (and are) very skilled artisans. It takes years to learn all…

Our first computer ... my father bought it from my brother-in-law, who worked doing…

My boss told me this past week, after I requested more employees, “you can’t…

I’d at least go for a French Poodle or something. Something that is less…

I started on a TI-99/4A. That was great fun, but not to compatible with…

Some men can’t get a woman, so what are the alternatives?

Way to go O!

When my kids were kids, we made weekly trips to the library. I would…

I was going for 5 stars out of 5 stars.

…

Because I’ve been a computer user since before I was born, I joined the…

Takes guts (or stupidity) to take a leak on electrics that, even if unplugged,…

Get that Joe Biden out of my rectum?

Yup. Although most religious texts can also apply.

the Holly Bibble fer instance?



Links

Saturday, June 11, 2011


Parrot neither dead nor resting
Beasties Funny-Ha-Ha Sex Video • 0 Comments

Friday, June 03, 2011


So, what did you name that vaginal discharge you had last year?
Advice Beasties Chunky-Flow Life • 0 Comments

Wednesday, June 01, 2011


The Owl and the Pussycat bring on some major cute overload
Beasties Cats Video Wuv • 0 Comments

Troubled by insomnia? A cure is on the horizon.
Beasties Chunky-Flow Interwebs Politics • 0 Comments

Worst kept secret: Birthers don't just dislike Obama -- it's anyone with immigrant blood
Beasties Books History Obama-rama! Politics Sad Wretched • 0 Comments

Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Racist, ridiculous, tactless and Regent
Beasties Foolhardy History Life Lists Sad World • 0 Comments

Paranoia, mis-information, and stupidy hit Germany: sadly, we all suffer as a result
Beasties Foolhardy Sad Science Wretched Whoops! World • 2 Comments

Thursday, May 26, 2011


Tip: before shooting someone in the head, make sure you're insane
Beasties Crime Reaping-Grimly • 2 Comments

There IS a patron saint of everything: and now you can own one's head!
Beasties Creepy History Reaping-Grimly Religion Sex Shocker! Wuv • 0 Comments

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Arnold goes to Carnival [Video, C@W]
Beasties Cinema Foolhardy Life Sex Video • 0 Comments

Monday, May 16, 2011


Trump won't run for President, but hair-piece can run for miles
Beasties Business Fluff Politics Update • 0 Comments

Sunday, May 15, 2011


Smokin' Cat!
Beasties Cats Funny-Ha-Ha Interwebs Video • 0 Comments

Sunday, May 08, 2011


Warning: scientists create all-female lizard species. There will be Laura Ashley camouflage!
Beasties Chunky-Flow Science • 4 Comments

Monday, May 02, 2011


In pictures: tiger in the snow
Art Beasties Pictures • 0 Comments

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Fun with puppies
Beasties Quiz • 3 Comments

Saturday, April 16, 2011


Mother bjorker!
Beasties Chunky-Flow Crime Reaping-Grimly • 1 Comments

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me!
Beasties Life Sex • 1 Comments

Wednesday, April 06, 2011


Gadhafi to Obama: Quit it or I'll tell my Mom
Beasties Geeky Nerd History Politics • 0 Comments

Pigs may not fly, but they sure do lie
Beasties Crime Politics Reaping-Grimly Sad Wretched • 0 Comments

Tuesday, April 05, 2011


Sheen one Sheen 'em all? CNN says maybe no.
Beasties Booze/Pills/Candy Business Chunky-Flow • 1 Comments

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Monkeys attempt revolution in Riyadh
Beasties ROTM • 2 Comments

A look into the Old Firm and it's surrounding culture
Beasties Crime Politics Sport • 0 Comments

Because having an abortion isn't emotionally horrific enough…
Beasties Foolhardy Health Sad • 8 Comments

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


"When the President does it, it's not a crime." Not!
Beasties Creepy Crime • 0 Comments

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Sarah Palin's support paling
The-"D"-Word Beasties Politics • 4 Comments

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


The Kids Are Alrighter
Beasties Crime • 0 Comments

Beck's crying game continues (the political commentator, not the guy who sang "Loser" -- +)
Beasties Politics Sad • 4 Comments

Wednesday, March 09, 2011


A monkey could not have done that after all (quiz included)
Art Beasties Science • 0 Comments

Sunday, March 06, 2011


It's not all bad news! Phil Collins to quit music! +
Beasties Business Life Pinch-Me! • 2 Comments

Monday, February 28, 2011


A fascist, in Paris? Stop the press!
Beasties Creepy Foolhardy Video Wretched • 0 Comments

Saturday, February 26, 2011


For your weekend reading pleasure: "Oil of Dog"
Beasties Books Business Chunky-Flow Creepy Crime Science • 0 Comments

Friday, February 25, 2011


Acid baths take longer than previously reported
Today's-Super-Fun-Activity Beasties Chunky-Flow Creepy Crime • 0 Comments

Sunday, February 20, 2011


"He was also working on inventing a new color…"
Art Beasties Geeky Nerd • 1 Comments

Monday, February 14, 2011


Happy Valentine's Day! Let's talk about dinosaur sex
Beasties • 0 Comments

Friday, February 11, 2011


At least in Italy the trains run on time…
Beasties Creepy Crime • 0 Comments

Wednesday, February 09, 2011


For once, Stupid doesn't win.
Beasties Crime Foolhardy Wretched • 0 Comments

Tuesday, February 08, 2011


Cock fights back...
Beasties Crime Health • 0 Comments

Saturday, January 29, 2011


A horse, a horse, a horse of course and no-one can talk to a horse of course. Doesn't rule out oral.
Beasties Creepy Eat-Me! Fluff Sad Sex Wretched Wuv • 0 Comments

Friday, January 28, 2011


Did we cover this already? Joe Lieberman calls it quits (in 2012)
Beasties Politics Sex • 0 Comments

Friday, January 14, 2011


How many of these did you own / rent / steal? And for god's sake, why?
Beasties Chunky-Flow History Lists Pictures Travel • 0 Comments

Thursday, January 13, 2011


As my old head of Personnel Services/HR used to say: "Give me a Christian solution!"
Beasties Religion • 3 Comments

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


Good news everyone, there's a slight chance the polar bear won't become extinct!
Beasties Politics Reaping-Grimly Science • 0 Comments

Why do we believe in fantasies? Like looking good with this 'tash?
Advice Beasties Life • 0 Comments

Monday, December 13, 2010


Get your Chthulu on! Every Lovecraft book available for free download.
Beasties Books Creepy Fat-as-Fuck! • 1 Comments

Tuesday, December 07, 2010


(Dog) Shit Happens…
Beasties Crime • 1 Comments

Wednesday, December 01, 2010


Could be good or bad depending how you look at it: scientists reverse aging ... in rodents
Beasties Science • 0 Comments

Real hunters don't shoot pets
Beasties Sad Sport • 0 Comments

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Birds hate accents too
Beasties Science • 0 Comments

Thursday, November 04, 2010


The future of meat-shops
Beasties Eat-Me! • 0 Comments

Putin to Bush: "My dog is bigger, stronger, faster than yours."
Beasties Politics World • 0 Comments

Tuesday, November 02, 2010


Yes, that's a big cockroach
Beasties Science • 0 Comments

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Octopus Who Predicted World Cup Scores Gone To The Great Aquarium In The Sky
Beasties Reaping-Grimly Sport • 0 Comments

Friday, October 22, 2010


Now that's fucked up...
Beasties Crime Sad Sex • 0 Comments

Friday, October 01, 2010


... and strapped in for the lassies. +
Beasties Eat-Me! Sex • 1 Comments

Shocking news: todays gamers too dumb for old games... +
Beasties Geeky Nerd Science Shocker! • 0 Comments

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Operation second chance: dogs behind bars!
Beasties Crime • 1 Comments

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Forget the Monkeys: Piscene Immigrants Attack Innocent WASPess
Beasties Conspiranoia ROTM War • 2 Comments

Monday, September 20, 2010


9/11 memorial light traps thousands of birds
Beasties • 0 Comments

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Pope: Atheists are just like Nazis +
Beasties Religion Wretched • 0 Comments

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


If fish could scream
Beasties • 0 Comments

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


Pity the goldfish
Art Beasties Green • 0 Comments

Friday, September 10, 2010


Tired of mowing the lawn?
Beasties • 2 Comments

Wednesday, September 01, 2010


The bedbugs are coming to get you
Beasties Creepy Wretched • 0 Comments

Page 2 of 22 pages  <  1 2 3 4 >  Last »

Today's Fat Jerry

How Fat Jerry is this? Rate It.

Got a photo of Fat Jerry? Maybe we'd like to see it.


Today's Poll

What does Fat Jerry have that nobody else wants?
Velvet elvis
Velvet elves
Moobs
An EDTV
"The Idiots Guide to Relationships"
A naked Tom Hanks
Indiana
Swine flu
"Jermaine Jackson" (by Jermaine Jackson)
Jermaine Jackson
Gas
One of those ugly choo-choo train conductor hats that girls sometimes wear
A brighter tomorrow
Another goddamn excuse

Do you have an idea for a Fat Jerry Poll? Let us know! 


Chill out!

Feeling warm?
Step inside The Cooler


Statistics

Page Views: 3380881
Page rendered in 2.2773 seconds
66 queries executed
Debug mode is on
Total Entries: 19584
Total Comments: 65897
Total Trackbacks: 192766
Most Recent Entry: 05/13/2012 01:27 pm
Most Recent Comment on: 05/17/2012 10:40 pm
Total Members: 464
Total Logged in members: 0
Total guests: 12
Total anonymous users: 0
Most Recent Visitor on: 05/18/2012 05:47 pm
Most visitors ever: 245 on 08/22/2009 10:33 pm


Categories


  • The-"D"-Word
  • Today's-Super-Fun-Activity
  • Advice
  • ANTM
  • Art
  • Beasties
  • Books
  • Booze/Pills/Candy
  • Business
  • Buy-Me!
  • Cats
  • Chunky-Flow
  • Cinema
  • Conspiranoia
  • Creepy
  • Skool
  • Crime
  • Eat-Me!
  • Fat-as-Fuck!
  • Fat-Jerry
  • Fluff
  • Foolhardy
  • Funny-Ha-Ha
  • Geeky Nerd
  • Gossip
  • Green
  • Health
  • History
  • Interactive
  • Interwebs
  • Jerry-Up
  • Katie-Couric
  • Life
  • Lists
  • Money
  • Music
  • Obama-rama!
  • Newsflash!
  • Pinch-Me!
  • Pish-Takes
  • Play-Me!
  • Pictures
  • Poetry
  • Politics
  • Quiz
  • Rags
  • Reaping-Grimly
  • Religion
  • Review
  • Robot
  • ROTM
  • Sad
  • Science
  • Sex
  • Sir-Edward
  • Shocker!
  • Sport
  • Travel
  • TV
  • Update
  • Video
  • Wretched
  • War
  • Whoops!
  • Work
  • World
  • Wuv

Rate Me on Eatonweb Portal - Blog Directory
bad enh so so good excellent

Top Entertainment Blogs

Bloggeries Blog Directory

Blogarama - The Blogs Directory

Listed on BlogShares

RSS Links

RSS Your Daily Bread

Hosted by pmachine

Copyright Fat Jerry 2008