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Chimp & Zee Humans

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Let me start by saying that I always thought that Uncle H, my mom’s youngest brother, was a fun dude, athletic, good tennis player, etc., and as I got older, a good man and loving father.  In spite of what I’m about to get into, he still is a good man in my mind.  For me, family ties trump differences in ideology (if you let it).

I wasn’t around for the fiery arguments between my father and Uncle H, (I was probably busy ditching SAT prep class or some such thing), but years later, pops gave me a brief synopsis.  It went something like this:

-----
Uncle H:  “Studies have led biblical scholars to the conclusion that the Earth is somewhere in the neighborhood of 70,000 years old.”

Dad:  “Ok, radiocarbon dating tends to be increasingly unreliable with specimens older than 40,000 years, I’ll give you that.  But with the method of potassium-argon dating, geologists have been able to date rocks to be as old as four billion years old.”

Uncle:  “The scientists are just plain wrong.  The Bible tells me so.”
-----

So when I read some recent news (nod to *hydrated*) about the roots of the human genome, one of my first thoughts was, “Cripes, if there ever was a …

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Links

Thursday, October 27, 2011


In another turn-around, H-P (how they spell it not m-e) will keep selling P-C's
Business Geeky Nerd Interwebs Money ROTM Shocker! • 2 Comments

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Monkeys attempt revolution in Riyadh
Beasties ROTM • 2 Comments

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Forget the Monkeys: Piscene Immigrants Attack Innocent WASPess
Beasties Conspiranoia ROTM War • 2 Comments

Monday, December 14, 2009


We wish you a Happy Monkey Day!
ROTM • 1 Comments

Friday, September 04, 2009


Monkeys and Villagers Forge Fragile Peace Over Tea
Beasties ROTM • 1 Comments

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Monkey Insurgents Slaughter Florida Couple (video)
Reaping-Grimly ROTM • 1 Comments

Friday, April 10, 2009


Lady chimps will mate for meat
Eat-Me! ROTM Sex • 1 Comments

Sunday, February 08, 2009


Tiny Monkeys are Slimy, Backstabbing, Treacherous Politicians
ROTM • 1 Comments

Saturday, January 31, 2009


Monkey Holy Warrior Defends Temple (Video)
ROTM • 0 Comments

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Woman dies while escaping from monkeys
ROTM Wretched Whoops! • 0 Comments

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Enslaved Monkeys Beat Master
ROTM • 0 Comments

Sunday, January 11, 2009


Simian Suicide-Bio-Bomber Horror in Moxico!
ROTM • 0 Comments

Monkey Leaders Arrested, Forced to Supplement Japanese Sex Trade
ROTM • 0 Comments

Sunday, December 21, 2008


Police disguise themselves to infiltrate simian terrorist cells
ROTM World • 0 Comments

Friday, December 12, 2008


since nobody has poste a bunch of monkey pictures lately.
Beasties Pictures ROTM • 0 Comments

Saturday, October 18, 2008


New Contender Emerges for FatJerry HQ+
Today's-Super-Fun-Activity Fat-Jerry History Jerry-Up Robot ROTM • 11 Comments

Friday, June 27, 2008


Oh my god, I was wrong! It was earth all along! Guess you've really made a monkey out of me...
ROTM • 2 Comments

Thursday, June 19, 2008


Chick chimps kiss but don't tell, those sluts
Beasties ROTM • 0 Comments

Wednesday, May 28, 2008


William Gibson is looking more prescient all the time
Beasties Creepy Fat-as-Fuck! ROTM Science • 0 Comments

Friday, May 16, 2008


Human ancestors were tree climbers, like apes
History ROTM • 0 Comments

Thursday, April 24, 2008


Looks a little bit like me
Funny-Ha-Ha Pictures ROTM • 0 Comments

Wednesday, April 09, 2008


Boys will be boys, even among monkeys
Beasties ROTM Science • 0 Comments

Monday, April 07, 2008


I'm going to get me a monkid ...
Beasties Creepy ROTM • 1 Comments

Thursday, December 20, 2007


Monkeys as good as college kids at the adding and subtracting and stuff
Beasties ROTM Science • 1 Comments

Tuesday, December 04, 2007


Think you're smarter than a fifth-grader? How about a 5-year-old chimp?
ROTM Science • 0 Comments

Saturday, November 24, 2007


Criminal case spotlights African Immigrants' eating monkey meat
Eat-Me! Religion ROTM • 0 Comments

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


Yay! More helper monkeys!
ROTM Science • 1 Comments

Monday, November 12, 2007


Monkey injures 25 in India
ROTM • 5 Comments

Thursday, November 01, 2007


Washoe, the Signing Chimp
Reaping-Grimly ROTM Science • 0 Comments

Monday, October 22, 2007


Macaque Attack!
Beasties Reaping-Grimly ROTM Shocker! • 7 Comments

Friday, September 28, 2007


Damn it feels good to be a gangster...monkey.
Crime ROTM Travel • 4 Comments

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


Chimps are in a secret alliance, have a secret handshake, possibly a password and secret knock
Beasties ROTM • 0 Comments

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


New locks for this freedom-loving monkey was just money wasted
ROTM • 2 Comments

Thursday, July 12, 2007


Pardon me, you're stepping on macaque
Beasties ROTM • 0 Comments

Tuesday, July 03, 2007


So, what is in your scrotum?
Beasties Creepy ROTM Science Wretched • 1 Comments

Hopefully, this should make it easier to tell which one's yours
Beasties ROTM • 2 Comments

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


Science Vault: Monkey to human testicle transplant. You heard me.
Health ROTM Science • 2 Comments

Saturday, May 12, 2007


Random monkey picture of the day. Feel free to caption.
Today's-Super-Fun-Activity Beasties Pictures ROTM • 1 Comments

Thursday, May 10, 2007


I'll join 'em!
ROTM • 18 Comments

Tuesday, May 08, 2007


Suit seeks to declare chimp a ‘person'
Foolhardy ROTM • 2 Comments

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


"Chimps outperform humans in some memory tasks"
Beasties ROTM • 1 Comments

Friday, February 23, 2007


Wake-Up humans! We need to move now against the coming Simian uprising,
Beasties ROTM • 5 Comments

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


Cyborg monkey experiments: this can't be headed anywhere good.
Robot ROTM Science Video • 3 Comments

Saturday, January 13, 2007


Monkey Vs. Robot
Robot ROTM Video Wuv • 2 Comments

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


That is a Monkee handling his organ!!!
Fluff Music ROTM • 0 Comments

Saturday, January 06, 2007


Hate your job? You night want to try this
Creepy Fluff ROTM • 4 Comments

Friday, January 05, 2007


This is all that matters to me. This is all I care about. Nothing but this.
Fat-Jerry Play-Me! Religion ROTM • 1 Comments

Friday, December 08, 2006


If you can't control the monkeys, what can you do?
Beasties ROTM • 6 Comments

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


Keep your hands off my nuts, you dirty ape!
Business Eat-Me! ROTM • 2 Comments

Saturday, November 04, 2006


Letterman's been replaced
ROTM Video • 0 Comments

Tuesday, October 24, 2006


Since we haven't had any monkey pics in awhile!
Beasties ROTM • 6 Comments

Sunday, October 15, 2006


Simian-Muslim extremism divides town
Katie-Couric ROTM • 3 Comments

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


Monkey sabotaged farming season
Beasties Eat-Me! ROTM • 3 Comments

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


"Previous monkey experience is a big plus!"
ROTM • 1 Comments

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


Not faring well on Match.com? Either shave, or switch your dating channel
ROTM • 0 Comments

Monday, August 14, 2006


Steve Carell Traumatized by Monkey Co-star
ROTM • 0 Comments

Monday, August 07, 2006


Response to Monkey Attack Stifled by Bureaucracy
ROTM • 1 Comments

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


Simian warfare keeps trains on time
ROTM • 8 Comments

Monday, July 10, 2006


Watch a monkey play Ms. Pac-Man
ROTM • 1 Comments

Wednesday, June 28, 2006


Guess you've really made a human out of me
ROTM • 6 Comments

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


Phase one: hinder the education of human children
ROTM • 0 Comments

When Chimps Kill
ROTM • 2 Comments

Sunday, June 18, 2006


Monkeys starve local populace, no end in sight to embargo
ROTM • 0 Comments

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