Today's-Super-Fun-Activity:

Advice: Johnny Lonely's Advice to the Lovelorn. Post problems, get solutions.

ANTM: Catty and cruel discussions of America's Next Top Model

Art: Any of that high falutin' stuff you never bother to read in the NY Times

Beasties: Animal magic or animal tragic? You decide, needledick.

Books: Literature, writers, novels and all that. Also, if you want to review a book, feel free to do so here.

Booze/Pills/Candy: Anything related to narcotics or the people who love them.

Business: Dull stuff about takeovers and discussions as to how much your neighborhood girl charges for half-and-half.

Buy-Me!: Nifty, neat or dangerous things to spend your loose money on.

Cats: Meow!

Chunky-Flow: Feminine issues, and anything close to the heart of Spazmo

Circumcision: Makes Dimmer holler

Cinema: General discussion of films, filmmakers and so forth. Movie reviews welcome here.

Conspiranoia: Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.

Creepy: Naked pictures of the Barbarian In Lala Land and other horrific thangs in thongs.

Crime: You didn't see this, right?

Eat-Me!: Foods and their consumers.

Fat-as-Fuck!: Stuff that is truly awesome

Fat-Jerry: Anything you want to ask/say about the site.

Fluff: Not to be confused with "Eat Me," a home from home for things that fit no other category, especially if they have all the heft of cotton candy.

Foolhardy: People do the dumbest things. Please, only post David Blaine stories in the Morgue section.

Funny-Ha-Ha: You know, it makes you go ha-ha.

Gossip:

Green: As relates to $$$$$$$$$$

Health: Life, science, disease, state of your pets maybe, are beans truly good for the heart?

History:

Interwebs: Geeky stuff relating to the internet

Jerry-Up: Ask your fellow jerries a question, any question

Katie-Couric: She was a tri-delt! Reserved for stupidity.

Life: You know, what happens to other people as you snigger at them.

Money:

Lists: You know, Top Ten Lists, Top 100 Lists, all those things we like to rip to shreds.

Music: News about music, musicians and reviews of albums, concerts, blowjobs dispensed in telephone boxes...

Obama-rama!: Yay! Obama!

Newsflash!: Hot off the wire, too twangable to miss!

Pinch-Me!: You know, for reallllllllly super happy events

Pish-Takes: Satire that rises above the Mad Guerrilla Brigade standard. Well above.

Play-Me!: Internet games, reviews of games, that type of thing. Play by mail Monopoly distinctly barred.

Poetry: Discuss news of the day via haiku or limerick.

Politics: Lies, damn lies and whatever you can find worse than that.

Pictures: Pretty. Or not so pretty.

Quiz: You know, a quiz

Rags: the kind you wear, plus the people who overcharge you for them.

Reaping-Grimly: For Hydrated (obits only).

Religion: Gods, football teams, licking the sweat from Maggie Gyllenhaal's thighs—whatever your "higher power" is.

Review: Post one or write your own

Robot: Robots and Rabbits (TM)—we love our mechanical pals, sometimes literally.

ROTM: Rise Of The Monkeys. They hate our freedom.

Sad:

Science: Geeky science/space/technology shit.

Sex: Circle only one.

Sir-Edward:

Shocker!:

Sport: Not everybody sits in front of a computer all day

Travel:

TV: Television shows, their stars, their cancellations, and so forth. Reviews again welcome.

Unlicensed-Plumbers:

Update:

Wretched: Like using wire hangers for Mama's cashmere.

War: What is it good for? Absolutely Nothing. I'll say it again...

Whoops!:

Work:

World:

Video: Post that one where the monkey sniffs his hand after wiping his ass! It's -hilarious-!

Wuv: How you met, fell in love, but then your partner was taken to the pound and gassed before you got there. Alternatively, anything that's deck, or cool, or awesome, or spectacular.