A cart full of groceries.

Is there a hole in either of the socks you’re currently wearing?

No, not today.

When was the last time you talked to a family member?

I just spoke with my mother on the phone.

Are you crazy?

Since the first step to regaining sanity is to admit you are crazy, naturally, I am crazy. The real question is: Do you *want* to be sane?

But my question is: Paper or Plastic?

Plastic, but only because I have to take the garbage out every day and the landlord insists that I do so in those little plastic bags.

How will you spend your retirement?

I’ll live off of annuities and rental income, and A. and I will go on adventures. I’d like to do some sort of aid work in the developing world, maybe work for oxfam or something.

What is one of your persistent complaints?

That people around me make too much fucking noise, especially when eating.  We’re not pigs in a sty, people.

Do you have any recurring nightmares?

Not for years and years now. I only had the one and it was a doozy.

Do you have:
males - hair on your back/shoulders?
females - a “happy trail”?

That’s what wax is for, friend.  (I come from a hairy peoples, ok?)

Where is the strangest/most unusual place you’ve violated yourself?

On top of you.

Who do you secretly want to make filthy {Fill in} with?

Emily Deschanel

Who stole your virginity?

[Let’s keep the fun going]

The same malcontent who’s currently crashing on my couch, some 11 years ago.  God I love my friends.  Even the ones I haven’t fucked.

What’s your job?

Document Controller for an engineering firm. Pretty boring.

Do you have any fetishes?

None that require accessories.

Have you ever totalled a car?

Yes my first car at age 16(I believe this is mandated in many jurisdictions). I was not drinking but driving way too fast. After losing control the car hit a rock outcropping and flipped nose over tail three times and landed upside down in the middle of highway with the roof squashed down to the door sills.  My girlfriend was not wearing her seatbelt but amazingly neither of us were seriously hurt. Everyone who saw the wreckage assumed we were dead.

What object that you own brings you the most pleasure?

I totalled a convertible i had when i was 23.
Do you have any special conditions in deciding
who you go out with? date?

Do you have any special conditions in deciding
who you go out with? date?

No zoophiles, pedophiles or Republicans.

What object that you own brings you the most pleasure?

My Heartbreaker.  My new Loeffler Randall for Tar-jay ballet flats.  My condo.  (Does my condo count as an object?)

What shoes are you wearing today?

I’ll answer both of these since there appears to be two left opened.

What object that you own brings you the most pleasure?

Besides the rabbit(tm), my dog-eared first edition of Carver’s Where I’m Calling From and my digital camera. And my new bed.

What shoes are you wearing today?

My pink and purple orthopedics. Yeah. Pink. And Purple. They’re ugly. And suede.

What are you saving up for?

My pink and purple orthopedics. Yeah. Pink. And Purple. They’re ugly. And suede.

Hot, LP. Muy hot. 

What are you saving up for?

As I’m a student right now, I can’t save up for shit. However, if this were not the case, I’d be saving for laser eye surgery and and a nest-egg for my old age. Cybernetic organs and holo-porn aren’t going to buy themselves, you know.

If you had to pick a superpower, but only one, what would it be? Please show your work.

Flying. Cause, duh.

Are you happy?

Yes, but I don’t know it.

Flying. Cause, duh.

Your dream holiday is?

Your dream holiday is?

Three days om the beach, in Rip, in February.

Rip=Rio

good job shutting it down before I could get here, gloveshot. my answer would have been really mundane though.

Sorry BD, I forgot. How about:

What is the dumbest thing you have ever done while under the influence of any mood altering substance(s).