How the fuck did this end up on tv news? Are we so hysterical and prudish that a kid’s dirty doodle makes it on television, complete with a freaking reenactment and investigation-style segment?

God almighty.

Slow news day?

Way too many easy puns?

I do remember as a kid during history why all the famous people seemed to have very large penises and were allowed to walk around in public with them hanging out. That was really not worth experimenting with.