Do they also make a charming but also abusive man bank? Or a nagging bitch with great tits bank?

Ha ha ha! Nice title. Actually, the male nightmare would be the ‘bitch who sleeps with your best friend and has big tits’ bank.

Just wait. Fuckable robots are coming. No more pain/lonely/horniness.

Heh.  My coworkers are still laughing at me because a couple of days ago, while confirming dinner plans with this dude, I was like, “Wait, just to double check, you’re not married, right?”

They laugh now, but just wait till one’s husband comes out of the closet that is just barely containing him and the other one’s trades up for a thinner, prettier, younger, blonder version.  Then we’ll see who’ll be wishing for those fuckable robots!

/what?

Heh.  My coworkers are still laughing at me because a couple of days ago, while confirming dinner plans with this dude, I was like, “Wait, just to double check, you’re not married, right?”

Due diligence is important. Although I sorta assumed you tied them up before asking questions.

How about screaming alarm clocks? Can you imagine at 6am having a whining voice at 104 decibels powered through about a 150 watt amp and some JBL tower’s telling you to, "Get your lazy ass out of bed you worthless piece of shit!’ (voices and phrases vary randomly)

Or better still, the “It’s 5:00am in the morning, I know you are still full of qualudes/seroquel: this has to be the perfect moment for a serious conversation.” clock.