Hahahahahahhaha. I hate them all.

So I missed the show last night and my wife didn’t TIVO it. How was it? Was there an elimination?

Why do they always make them pose like half of their skelecture is missing, with a fan blowing in their face? It does nothing to flatter, and it’s not what a model would ever, well, model.

Anyway:
Ambreal - sorry dear, you are no Foxy Brown. Go home.
Bianca - where is your head sweetie? Home.
Chantal - white high-heels and jeans? You have to be kidding. HOME NOW!
Ebony - see that horse you just rode in on? He’s ready for more. Home.
Heather - OK, the black shoes are a little less obvious, but they are still there. Waddle home.
Sarah McLachlan - reminds me of all the other Sarah’s I’ve known, so that’s kind of a sweet spot. But she is much more gal next door who has an uncanny sense for pole-dancing than a model.
Jenah - when did you die again?
Kimberly - ah look, she’s never had a single thought enter her pretty little head. Sexy as a cold bath with police chief Darryl Gates.
Lisa - cute. If she can stand up straight she might be my pick of the litter.
Mila - audition is over my love, you can put your legs back together now.
Saleisha - I guess this was affirmative action at work? Calm the fuck down honey, Malcie X is dead, it’s over.
Sarah - is it cruel that she weighs as much below the ankle as she does above? Pity the shoe.
Victoria - ok, who photoshopped the face? It’s not that she’s not pretty, she’s so deep into not pretty that she almost makes it back again. Better shoes though, for jeans.

So I’ll go with Lisa, but I do see prettier things at the Safeway checkout. And some of them are girls.

I guess this was affirmative action at work? Calm the fuck down honey, Malcie X is dead, it’s over.

Speaking of feeling ashamed about the things that get posted here…

Bish, it was ok.  There were just the mass cuts leading to the 13.  They went on a cruise in the Bahamas.  I know, right?  Last season’s poor boot campers are all, What kind of bullshit is this?

Anyhoose, Ebony is clearly this season’s Black Bitch.  I guess the editors/publicity people hate her as much as we’re supposed to, b/c she’s a lot prettier than the photo above.

Chantal is supposed to be some kind of fashion maven b/c she knows who Rachel Roy is (who is not a high fashion designer, sorry—well-done vanity line at most).

Victoria is season 6’s Sara in personality ("I’m so smart!  I go to Yale, I’m so smart!  I’m just doing this for shits and giggles!  Did I mention I was smart?") mixed with the twins’ fashion-fugly appearance.  ‘cept in her case, it’s just fugly. 

Heather is fashion-fugly, though.  Plus we both have Asperger’s, which means Heather is awesome and my official favorite.  Which means she’ll be gone by week 5. 

Mila probably went to BU b/c she reminds me of all the chicks I have to refrain from murdering on a regular basis when I ride the green line.  Plus, the pic above is actually a flattering photo—that’s how fug she is.

Jenah’s teeth are such stuff as nightmares or sattlelite dishes are made of.  Yikes.

Kimberly is from a horse-town. There’s a nasty joke or two to be made, but I won’t go there.

Bianca’s hair reminded me of Dionne’s pre-makeover 1b/30.

Lisa is an exotic dancer—not a stripper, b/c she keeps her bikini on.  Just so you know!  Gee, I wonder who’s going to get the too porno/too sexy edit this season?

Don’t remember anything about the rest, which means one of them will be the winner.

Oh, and…

I’ve never watched more than a few minutes of this show but I’m thinking of developing a television show concept that’s a hybrid of ANTM and Fear Factor, called Fug Factor.

Fug Factor would make an awesome show.

GNFAB, too!

What the hell is up with the sailor suit!?!? Is this his/her recurring theme this season?

It was b/c they were on a cruise.

Oh, there was also a runway walk on the lido deck with the girls wearing...life jackets.  For serious.

From your wrap up, it looks like this season is going to rawk!

’propos, did y’all know that the reason Jaslene didn’t make season 7 was because she flunked the psych test?  They told her to get in therapy and get her shit sorted out, then come back and audition for season 8.

Ooh that’s great gossip. I wonder what she did to fail the psych test. Jade passed.

As did Monique.

I think it was something to the effect that they didn’t think she could handle living in the house.