It would seem my band would be twee:

I canna do flickr on account of the gubment. However, my band name and album are as follows:

Band: Time Trax
Album: A Kind of Poetry

Which gives me the huzz. The cover I imagine would be a woman in a white turtleneck sweater, her hair in a bun, holding a rose. The Font would be the one on Neil Young’s Rust Never Sleeps.

It will basically suck.

Band: Nadine Hurley and the Silent Drapery Runners

Album: Greased Cotton Balls

Band: Stem Cell Tourists

Album: Embryo Amigos

That picture makes me want to poop.

Band: Spazmo and the Turd Fondlers

Album: Poopy Time

A bit of a novelty act to everyone except the band themselves who are earnest about their craft…

Break out single: being of course I’m Just A Poop Machine

And their follow up smash hit: Poopy Time (U Can’t Touch This).

Band: Nadine Hurley and the Silent Drapery Runners
Album: Greased Cotton Balls

I would buy that in a heartbeat. Even if I knew it were crap beforehand.

THis is from Spazmo:

Here’s another (this is kind of fun):

Now, on this one, the first image that came up I couldn’t use because it was video. The second image I was going to use, and did, came up with the photoshop and everything, but then decided against because it had this “All Rights Reserved” across it and I didn’t want to get sued. So then I looked one last time and I found this fitting image, randomly.

That’s freaking awesome!

Another:

Another:

(Apologies for the crappy design: I’ve not migrated Photoshop to this Mac yet, so I had to rely on Pages and Preview to make this.)

And I should have removed those damn hyphens.

Band: Nadine Hurley and the Silent Drapery Runners
Album: Greased Cotton Balls

Perfect track list:
1/ sound of drapes opening and closing (1:23)
2/ silence (56:01)

Birchington-on-Sea. Another twee band. Perhaps they open for Whalleyana, or vice-versa. Surely those bands know each other.

I suspect White Wilderness are some Eco-Political group, and Distocambarus Youngineri (sp?) are an indie band with some electronic/dance sensibility.

So’el Yun, the only cover I spent any time on, and that just to get the font to gradiate, is some cheesy kind of feely band that wussy boys like to listen to when their girlfriends don’t understand them. They are like a modern Air Supply, with a touch of Magnetic Fields to make them palatable.

I neglected to RTFA and started posting… now I see what we’re supposed to do, and more importantly I can stop trying to figure out LP ‘choices’ which seemed just a tad too mercurial.

I imagine them as a third generation shoe-gazing band, best known for their covers of Hoagy Carmichael songs, and musical interpretations of Sexton Ming’s poems. They never play in Birchington-on-Sea, as the residents would bring them down by shouting out requests for James Last songs. Their rider calls for a six pack of Blackthorn cider, a bottle of vodka, and a phonograph player (33 and 45 rpm thank you!)

Opening act for sure. Probably in one of those three band tours, where people show up thinking that you know, if it’s three bands, one of them must be good for something.

I like the Blussans cover: what would their style be?

(Unrelated, not wanting to go through the pain of migrating Photoshop, I checked for third party graphics apps for OS X—the one I choose and really like is LiveQuartz: doesn’t do everything photoshop does, but it does the things I use most often and—significantly—ties directly into the Quartz filters that are part of the OS. Interface is clean and has the proper “feel” for the platform. Oh, and it’s free. Requires Mac OS 10.5 or higher, universal binary, and a video card that doesn’t suck ass.)

I imagine this guy as one of those awful “I want to be Beck but I’m crap” types, who writes all the songs, sings all the songs, plays all the instruments and (as the cover suggests) sucks all the ass.

Has no rider, as he’s never been asked to play anywhere, and never will. Has his own Facebook page, and a blog that he updates every single day with the details of his life in terrifying detail. Eternal virgin. Parents fear each time he completes a “tune” as they’ll have to listen to it and pretend they like it.

Defends his work as being “Art” that we are all just too stupid to understand. Cried when “X-Files: The Magazine” got cancelled. In public, reads authors he cannot understand, in the hopes that people will think him smart; in private, reads Private.

Sends out new CD each month to all the local radio stations. Feels grateful when they send hem back: after all, they’ve probably copied them to a lossless digital copy for broadcasts (that he oddly has never heard).

Dreams one day of owning Logic Studio so he can kick Garage Band to the curb. Secretly listens to The Human League and gets odd feelings in his pants when viewing Phil Oakly. Wishes he knew where the prostitutes hung out in Birchington-on-Sea, but then again, every penny spent on that would make the time to Logic Studio even longer. And he’d need to make sure that his parents were out of the house. But he could play his best CD while they “made love”. It’s just too complicated. Maybe this quandary could be the basis of a three-disc experimental project…

Apologies (again) for piss-poor design on that one: I wasn’t motivated by having to do something with a nasty looking guys arse.

Finally! A picture with the band!

Wang Ying, btw, is a wrestler. I contemplated trying to reduce the light flare in the middle of the picture, but I couldn’t make it work well. The text should have been down about a 1/4 inch as well. Ah well.

You’re only supposed to use the last four or five words, cheater. So that title should be “fast as you can” or “as fast as you can.”

Yeah, you are right: but I just couldn’t find it in me to reduce a Nixon/Stein comment that way. Plus I think Wang Ying would have used such a long title.

“Hi Mr. Record Store owner, do you have “Make good shit and give it away...”

is so cool.

Did you notice, btw, that I sampled one of the hair highlight colours for the sidebar. Fuckin’ classy, so I am.