Quoth Bishopx in the cooler:

And just for the record, I am very unhappy about last nights ANTM results.

I concur.  I knew it was bad when 2 of my favorites were in the bottom 2.  It’s the curse, I tell you. 

And there reasons for putting Dionne in the bottom 2 were so contrived.  Not looking like a model at judging?  Hello, Joanie!  And Russian hooker/disco skank Natasha.  Ugh.

But we all know how much Tyra hates a pretty girl who could actually be a model.

So who got kicked off? I missed it, on account of my cable bill. Tell me everything.

FUCK!  I had this whole post typed up and it disappeared. 

Challenge: le skanks have to get through a maze of laser beams, Ocean’s Eleven style, in under two minutes.  Everyone manages except for Renee, and you can imagine how Our Lady of Bitterness and Early Onset Emphysema reacts to this.  The judge, who earlier led the girls in a “posing class,” is a feral looking dude named Benny Ninja.  For serious.  See, when people ask, Why do you like this show?  I can answer, “you’ve got a dude named Benny Ninja teaching a posing class.  What’s not to love?” Anyhoose, the winner is the chick who maneuvered and posed, with a fiercenessness of a fake modeling contest participant.  Benny Ninja (seriously, I’m changing my name to that) picks Whitney, who gets a $40K diamond bracelet.  Ok, if I were Jael or Brittany, I would’ve been pissed.  They win challenges and get to sign a fake check/crappy spray painted trophy that looks like a class project from the special ed kids, while whitney gets $40K worth of bling?  Bogus.

Photoshoot: The concept is, gasp, quite editorial.  They pose as homicide victims.  Renee makes for the best homicide victim.  Do with that what you will.  All the girls do pretty well.

Judging: Jaslene shows us that walking like you’re trying to keep diarrhea from sliding down your pants + exploiting the most facile stereotypes regarding one’s ethnicity = PERSONALITY.  Mathematics, ANTM style.  Awesome.  Felicia and Dionne are in the bottom two, with Felicia going home.

Jaslene shows us that walking like you’re trying to keep diarrhea from sliding down your pants + exploiting the most facile stereotypes regarding one’s ethnicity = PERSONALITY.

Ugh. I can so see this. Yowza.

FUCK!  I had this whole post typed up and it disappeared.

Yeah, sometimes it’s submit, hourglass for about 45 seconds, page reloads, but the comment doesn’t stick.  Especially if the page has been idle while you type a long post.  Keep a copy in the clipboard or notepad to be safe.

Apparently, Smellrose from Season 7 makes an appearance in an upcoming episode.

Hilarity all around!

They pose as homicide victims.
Finally, a show that panders to the oh crap I’ve forgotten what they call people who like to fuck corpses now…

We need to start seeing some img’s in here, as the ANTM website just sux.

Here’s who’s left:

Brittany

Diana

Dionne

Jael

Jaslene

Natasha

Renee

Sarah

Whitney

Wow, I remember when I used to think Diana was pretty and Jael was Asian.

Damn, does the Russian have a big head.  I bet it’s full of secrets.  KGB secrets.

In turn:

Brit looks nice, in that “girl next door” kind of way, but I doubt that makes for model material (I tend to not find most “Top models” at all attractive)—I’d suspect she’ll be gone pretty quick.

Diana: maybe it’s just this photograph, but she just seems like shes uptight, snobby and just the type of person you’d never want to know. I don’t like her, but yeah, she could make it. Legs are a lot on the thick side though.

Dionne: Butterface. No use to man nor beast.

Jael: looks like she just came out of one. Overdoing the “I have my own personality!” shtick to the point where it’s obviously vapid.

Jaslene: easy to strangle, I guess. Totally out of proportion, almost like a Dr. Moreou experiment. Ick.

Natasha: when you have a huge forehead, don’t let the photographer put a fan in front of your face. She may be OK, but this picture is way bad.

Renee: img no showing, no comment. Wait, it just came in. I thought you became a crack whore -after- you were a top model? Is she just trying to get a head start?

Sarah: One good fuck would tear her to shreds, and again she’s a little more girl next door than top model. I’d rip her to shreds (if I were not happily married, of course.)

Whitney: Yikes.

Actually, Brit takes pretty good pics, and Jael has the best personality. goes to show you, book cover and all.

brit and jael are my favorites. at first the “i’m wierd” thing put me off jael, but she cleaned up real nice, and ladyP is right about the personality. i see renee making it pretty far for the bitch factor. but god i’d like to see her get slapped. preferably by a producer during her confessionals.

Britt: cute except for the deformed ribcage.
Diana: awful top but I hope she wins because her legs are a lot like mine and it’d be nice to see someone win with cankles instead of toothpicks.
Dionne: another awful top
Jael: really looks like she should be on a street corner asking guys if they want to party. She’d look good if she didn’t go for “skank”
Jaslene: too damn skinny
Natasha: the pout is cute - the arms and wrists are scary - anorexia is a real concern
Renee: looks like she actually takes decent care of herself
Sarah: again, needs to actually eat foods with actual nutritional and caloric content. the child is a skeleton.
Whitney: bad shirt, bad boots - while I like it when people do something atypical, something that’s at least flattering should be worn.

Dionne: Butterface. No use to man nor beast.

It’s a bad picture.  She’s actually quite lovely.

Renee: looks like she actually takes decent care of herself

ie too big.

She may be OK, but this picture is way bad.

No, the pic’s pretty accurate.  Total beast.

Lovely how Natasha has little cum stains on the upper leg of her jeans: I thought only boys got those… hmm… is that corner of shirt hiding an adams apple perhaps?

See, that’s how rumors get started.

So can we make this thread “sticky” and have the big red X’s go through those tossed out? I liked that.