I don’t know if this guy is hasidic, but the hasidic dudes in williamsburg were sometimes quite randy. My landlord there, a hasidic dude, kept a girlfriend in our building. They didn’t share a language except the language of love, far as I could tell.

I’d heard the supposition that the restrictive religious rules regarding sex had them looking for the kind of play that doesn’t involve a hole in a sheet or a two week wait once a month until the wife goes for the ritual purification bath. I don’t know, I’m not hasidic, but after a certain hour you would often find wayward hasids down under the bridge where the whores did their business.

Pretty much every girl I know that spent any time in the area has a story or two about a Hasidic guy trying to pick her up for a quickie. It goes like this: “Do you have a baby?” “No.” And then you have to fight him off. So if a hasidic man ever asks you if you have a baby, say yes, and then you won’t get the paws and the kissing.