Why do employees surf porn and take drugs at the office? Because their job sucks. Because their life sucks. Or maybe they enjoy looking at naked people and gettin high. Who knows?

During one “secret” project, we employed a CCIE (Cisco’s highest level of accreditation at the time) named Henry Bumble. As the project was using mainly Foundry hardware he had nothing to contribute, other than coming up with derogatory names for the equipment (BigIron becomes PigIron—oh, how we laughed!) When ownership of the project was turned over to us, he became known as “Bumfuck”—showing that we could do vulgar renaming with the best of them.

Bumfuck’s favorite hobby was to surf the web for the vilest porn, and leave the pictures up on the monitors he knew the whole team would see.

And for this, we only paid him $210 an hour…