‘Jihadi’ monkey behind bars

Can I just say that back when I worked for the newspaper, I used to dream about writing headlines like these.

Hindus search for counterpart monkey in doctrine of mutually assured destruction.

I don’t know, Agriope. I think the Hindus would escalate things with a baboon or maybe even a mandrill.

Suicide spider monkeys!  Sure you can only tie an M-80 or two to them, but get them to jump on the same person at the same time, and they’d be highly effective.