We’re number 3!!!

trade research reveals we rank number 2 in sales of animal print stretch pants.

Tied for 8th! Though I’m sure all the children living in poverty bring that average down.

Full rankings list here.

As always, I’m just an average, ordinary guy.

It’s REALLY hard to believe that Illinois is 24th. Seriously. There must be a really skinny county somewhere.

I spent most of the day walking around and wow, just wow, are we a bunch of lardasses.

trade research reveals we rank number 2 in sales of animal print stretch pants.

HA! I believe I saw some of those today. Most Chicagoans just wear the sweat pants, though. Usually with some kind of faded Bears logo on it. It’s always the Bears, I don’t know why. Never the Cubs or the White Sox. Maybe they steal them from the actual Bears players.

Y’know, I’m really kind of torn, I do believe there is room in the world for a wide range of body types, and the urge to hate ourselves should be resisted, Barbie has never presented a healthy body image, blah blah blah, but why oh why do fat people wear capri pants?
Just tell me it’s some kind of Fat Pride movement, and maybe I’ll understand. No. even if it’s that. the look is not advancing the cause of self-acceptance. It’s just foul.

Obviously they didn’t check out the panhandle of Florida where all the fat people from Alabamee Georgia and Mississippi vacation. We have some of the fattest people on earth vacationing here.