RUNNING from a bear is the literate way!!

Here’s how Shakespeare treated it -

“Advise me, Jeeves,’’ I yipped. “What do I do for the best?’’
“I fancy it might be judicious if you were to make an exit, Sir.’’
No sooner s. than d. I streaked for the horizon, closely followed across country by the dumb chum. And that, boys and girls, is how your grandfather clipped six seconds off Roger Bannister’s mile.

And I, for one, would rather be literate than attractive!

Fortunately, I don’t have to make the choice, because I’m both.

And Pbbbbtttttt! to anyone who says different.

once mr balderdash rescued a turtle who had gone ass-up in a rotted stump in the lake. The heart of the tree rots out before the perimeter, and this turtle was stuck with his hind legs waggling for purchase. It could have been a snapping turtle for all he knew, but he saved it. pretty cool.

I’ve saved dozens of box turtle from being run over.

The injured ones I’ve rehabilitated in my back yard till they were ready to be released deep in the woods far away from roads. I’ve rehabbed about 25 over the past 10 years. However I’ve found that if you lay in the yard they will try to eat you and just about anything else. I had one bit my big toe when I wasn’t paying attention to it and was talking to the neighbor. Little bastards!

I’ve repaired cracked turtle shells with gauze and plaster of Paris. I had to drill and wire a plate on and then plaster it, that took about 10 weeks to heal but he’s doing find two years later and since he lost a rear foot he’s a keeper, poor guy.

We once turned a snapping turtle over on its back on a Myrtle Beach golf course. He was NOT HAPPY! He made some kind of odd screeching noise! EEEEEEeee! EEEEEEeee! It was horrible. We made the next foursome (our buddies) turn him over. The couldn’t even put with all the noise.

put = putt.