Whitney is the hottest

then in no partic order:

Amy
Kimberly
Lauren

-I so knew that Marvita would get the Jaslene treatment—get therapy, come back for the next season. 

-Kimberly is like the poor man’s homeless cousin’s Gemma Ward.  I see posture issues with this one.

-I see Anya with some fashion fugly potential.

-Claire looks like a giraffe.  This could either go in her favor or against.  The leg warmers are making me weepy.

-Like Fatima’s look, but she looks like she has a lazy eye.  Again, could go either way.  “She so fierce even her lazy eye can smile!”

-Katarzyna: Tyra et al must have realized what a goldmine the whole mail order bride population is for rating-upping shenaniganz.  Will get the “too hoochie” critique.  Hopefully will refrain from performing fellatio on shared telephones.

-Lauren looks like she has a milk mustache.  Wasn’t that a photo shoot from a couple of years ago?

-Stacey-Anne might be pretty if her features were spread out across more face.  As it is she looks smooshed.  And constipated.  Could be the badly drawn-on eyebrows, though.  (Not to mention the piss poor angle and photography makes it impossible to actually tell what these kitty kats look like.)

-Whitney: yet another lovely lass who will be shoehorned into the “plus sized model” mold, stripped of all sense of self-worth and then booted off into the eating-disordered ether.  Fun times.

-The rest of them strike me as your basic boring ass filler, which means one of them is certain to win.

Speaking of Marvita, it’ll be fun to see how many times she’s compared to Grace Jones.

Marvita sound like a tranny name.  What they were so set on Marvin but had a girl?

Katarzyna and Claire will end up in a Dirty Debutantes volume.

Just from the pics, I see Dominique as the bitch this season.

Atalya will be the ‘video ho/too sexy’ because she actually has boobs.

I agree with MD on most of the others. although with Kimberly, I think she’ll get the ‘chop her hair to make her cry treatment.’

I can say that they look more entertaining than the cycle 9 girls. I see more crazy in their eyes.

I see more crazy in their eyes.

Always a good sign, innit?

Yep. Unless it’s RoL, then you know it’s going to turn scary. But sometimes scary can be good.

But sometimes scary can be good.

Like when it’s licking chocolate frosting off of its freakishly enhanced breast?

I was thinking the same thing about Katarzyna, or whatever her name is. Mail Order Brides are a goldmine! I don’t remember Marvita.

Man, they are really pulling out the reality tv to make up for the writer’s strike, and I’m kind of loving it.

Like when it’s licking chocolate frosting off of its freakishly enhanced breast?

I will never forgive her for that image. Some women can pull it off and look hella sexy. Frenchie is not one of these women.

Man, they are really pulling out the reality tv to make up for the writer’s strike, and I’m kind of loving it.

Yeah, it’s usually not till end of February that we get the new crop of ANTM chickies.

I don’t remember Marvita.

She auditioned for Season 9, when they were on the cruise ship, and talked about how she’d been homeless and abused and stuff.  Basically had ISSUES written all over her.

Has anyone been watching Make Me A Supermodel?  It’s pretty boring.  Not even Tyson can make me tune in for the full hour.  Too much of this modeling shit and not enough “Bitch poured beer on my weave!” moments.

Plus I maintain that Nikki Taylor’s face = Rubik’s cube.

Some women can pull it off and look hella sexy

And boys—a man licking steak sauce off his moob?  That’s dead sexy.

Basically had ISSUES written all over her.

So she neeeeeeeeeeeds Tyra, is what you’re saying. Man, Jay and Tyra are gonna love her up and cry her out.

Has anyone been watching Make Me A Supermodel?  It’s pretty boring.

Yes and yes. They have the formula all wrong. For one, the photo shoot, not the runway walk, is what we live for. For another, they don’t berate the models enough. I want to like the show but I can’t. Still, I watch. I watch.

So she neeeeeeeeeeeds Tyra

Tyra will redeem her from a life of living in a crack-addled trailer park in Alaska. 

Marvita will start out all tough like, These bitches been handed everything on a plate, but I’ve had to struggle, man.  The judges will call her out on it and she’ll break down in panel crying.  Tyra will be all, “Tell Mama Opr-- uh, I mean Tyra what you’re feeling right now.” The she’ll dispense with some drugstore-paperback wisdom and POOF!  Marvita will rise from the ashes of her former self like a phoenix with a long neck and smiling eyes.

Behold the power of Tyra, our Lady of Fiercenessness.

Yes, Whitney (which I read as Whitey) is lovely, but why is she dressed up as her mother’s handbag?

It’s too bad that Marvita didn’t manage to get herself to a real modeling agency (ahem) about 7 years ago—she’s just the kind of foogly the fashion world loves.  Unforch she’s now too old and hard looking and will be tainted with the slime that is ANTM.

but why is she dressed up as her mother’s handbag?

To emphasize her fatness.  the other girls are teeny baguettes while poor Whit is a big ole tote bag.

Though Stacey-Anne is more like a plastic bag that’s been shredded to death by my cat.

White Pumps! where’s Kathleen Turner and her phone receiver?

Who dresses these gals, their pimps? Just awful fashion / posing. Photography is technically fine, but bland. Which I guess may well apply to the subjects as well…

Well they make their first photos sort of bad so that their future photos look really great in comparison and Tyra can take the credit, see?

Yeah, I guess I can see the logic in that, but looking at this bevy of beauties I can honestly say I couldn’t care which of them wins. I’m probably not the target audience though.

Did any of the ANTM winners actually go on to have an actual career in modeling, or is that like the American Idol question?

Well, one (Elyse Sewell) has a career going in Asia. One (Kim Stolz) is a VJ on MTV. A few others have been seen modeling here and there, but nothing to write home about.

has a career going in Asia

But isn’t that what we all tell our parents when we’re turning tricks on the New Jersey turnpike?

What’s “MTV”?

(I keed, I keed.)

Mollie Sue has a pretty decent career, considering her age (26 or 27) and her ANTM associations—she’s done real runway (ie not Wal-Mart), various international Vogues, etc.

But yeah, most of them just vamoose back to anonymity or become orange-hued famewhores.

Well, Elyse and Mollie Sue didn’t win.  Among the winners, Adrienne has made a pretty impressive turn as a vh1 celeb-reality famewhore.  Yoanna had a show on the Style network, but I don’t know if she still does that.  And Danielle was in a Lane Bryant catalogue!  if that ain’t success, I don’t know what is.

Oh, and Jaslene is the spokesmodel for some brand I’ve never heard of called Lot 29.

Ya-Ya has turned up in a few movies.

And an Olay commercial.  And she has ANTM to thank for all this, since her skin was so busted before Tyra fixed it all up with her magic (and fierce!) wand.

Oh, and Lisa from season 5 put out a rap video.