Did you send spazmo pics?

FINALLY spoke to someone at my POS insurance co.  They will have the appraisal done by Friday.  Fuck all knows when the goddamn car will be fixed n ready to drive again.

I mean, wtf?  I am lucky in that I can get by no problem w/o a car since I live so close to the t, but what if I needed my car for work?  What kind of fuckery is this, I ask you?

You had an accident incident MD?

I still miss:
Tink
Ginger
Trinket
Sydney
Old Dog

Yikes stubby is some kind of serial pet killer.

That sucks, GS. Here’s to your health!

Well it could have been worse. Ten% premium increase, 50% co-pay increase, 25% prescription increase, 100% deductible increase.

I could have ended up owing my employer.

I have a mandatory meeting in the morning regarding our annual benefit enrollment. Seeing as how the corporation is in bankruptcy, I am sure all increases in insurance costs will be directly passed on to the employees, unless all benefits have been canceled.

Oooh, is it Bob from Accounting?  He’s pretty foxy for an old dude.

Spazmo, I have some suggestions for who you should harass this year. Remind me.

seeing as how I will probs. be living in my mom’s basement in DC before too long, I can totally see myself crashing a xmas party in Baltimore.

We just have a party at my boss’s house and everyone wears pig ears and gets to take a turn sexually harassing one other person (has to be someone you haven’t harassed before though). Then we have a fist fight and break casserole dishes in the driveway.

All on your tax dollars.

Can I come?

Know what bothers me about the whole ‘Gaia’ theory? I can’t stand the idea that the earth is one giant creature with a stripper’s name.

We just have a party at my boss’s house and everyone wears pig ears and gets to take a turn sexually harassing one other person (has to be someone you haven’t harassed before though). Then we have a fist fight and break casserole dishes in the driveway.

All on your tax dollars.

to the cafeteria (this year).

Ours is in the cafeteria this year too. And it’s not a party, just dinner.
At least it’s being catered in.

They moved us from the fanciest place in the city (last year) to the cafeteria (this year).

Also, they just cancelled our xmas party.

First comes the xmas party cancellation, then comes the mass shitcanning.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

6 months from now: a bunch of unemployed Jerries posting all day about moobz and tv.  Ah, heaven.

Damn animals and damn emotional investments, anyway.

So much word.

How is the other cat taking Eddie’s absence?

Eloise is doing well.  There was one heartbreaking morning, on Thursday (we put Eddie to sleep the day before) at dawn, when she woke us up crying and running all over the apartment looking for him. 

And she’s still not eating her treats b/c they always ate their treats together, and they had this ritual where she would nose her way into Eddie’s bowl to make sure that he wasn’t getting anything better than she was.  Sometimes she’d insist on eating his treats and he’d just stand back with this goofy “Huh?” look on his face until I scooched him over to the other bowl (filled with the exact amount of the same treats).  so now it’s like she can’t enjoy them w/o the competition.

My shrink says I’m projecting.  I say Bitch quit yer shrinkifying and write up some scripts already.

But thanks, stubby.

I am sorry your cat died, Duchess. He seemed like he was a fine animal, and I’m sure you are missing him very much.
How is the other cat taking Eddie’s absence?

I still miss:
Tink
Ginger
Trinket
Sydney
Old Dog

After Old Dog died, I swore it would be a long time before I got another pet.
But it wasn’t a long time.
It ended up being only a couple of months.

Damn animals and damn emotional investments, anyway.

He was a really beautiful cat. Oh, Eddie.

This is my favorite eddie pic of all time.  I am thinking of getting a black and white line-art tattoo of it:

for yer eddiefication

Put butter & jelly on them first.

And Spazmo, show her your tits.

I miss Eddie too. Post pictures.

Also, I miss Eddie and his sweet snout.  It’s been a week.  I am sad.  Be sad with me.  I said be sad with me!*

*or at least show me your tits.

FINALLY spoke to someone at my POS insurance co.  They will have the appraisal done by Friday.  Fuck all knows when the goddamn car will be fixed n ready to drive again. 

I mean, wtf?  I am lucky in that I can get by no problem w/o a car since I live so close to the t, but what if I needed my car for work?  What kind of fuckery is this, I ask you?

So last night was the annual High School Orchestras’ Holiday Concert. (There are 4 separate orchestras, my youngest plays cello in the Chamber group.) When the Concert Orchestra took the stage as the climactic group, they had the Choir Director (who regularly sings soprano with the Minnesota Opera and a couple of other groups) sing Oh Holy Night. She was quite impressive.

After she finished, and everybody stood up and started cheering, I turned to my oldest daughter and asked, “How do you think she would sound on My Humps!.”
She laughed so hard, I thought she was going to pee her pants. Then I saw the lady next to her. She looked like she wanted to murder me. I just smiled.

I saw a movie I loved this week. Has anyone seen Frozen River? Really gorgeous I thought.

I’m in a hotel this week.

I’m taking a class taught by a man from southern India. There is something so soothing and nap inducing about his accent. Then there is a man at my table who suffers from echolalia. Very weird. Any time the instructor says a thing, he says it right after him. I can’t keep from laughing.
Today the instructor tried to say the word “influential”, but he said it “In-Flea-intial”. I nearly farted.

The chambermaid leaves thank you notes. It’s a really cute college town, but the sun sets at 4:30. All the kids are so damn cute and perky. Ugg boots have not yet left the scene. Today I saw ugg boots, tights, nike shorts and a Go Team collegiate shortie tee shirt all on the same bottle blonde girl. at the same time. Might have been the result of some sort of hazing ritual.
There is an unearthly amount of Christmas musak in this town. EVERYWHERE!
I went for a run this morning, I ran for about 1.25 miles, all downhill, then realised that I’m usually in the bathroom at this time of day. Yow! It made for a pretty intense return trip.

I dunno, after bd pointed out the endless hilarity of “That’s Nacho dog!” I kinda like Nacho.

Or Chuckles.

he was registered with the city as Buddy Guy so it’s less hassle.

oh sure, that’s what they’d like you to think. first time he leaves a steaming unauthorised dump on the neighbor’s lawn, you’ll wish for a good alias. not that I’m trying to interfere, and I do love Buddy Guy.

How about something that sounds like buddy?

Stubby, maybe?

No!  I thought you would name him Edward.

Tumultuous turgid tumescence.

We decided to give up our vanity and accept that he responds to Buddy, short for Buddy Guy. Plus he was registered with the city as Buddy Guy so it’s less hassle.

is tumult the new spurt?  I mean jeez, next time I post a pic of myself getting paid, I’ll post a warning, k>?

I’ve had a tumultuous morning. Full of tumult. Bubbling vats of tumult spilling over on to the floor, drenching my shoes and soaking through my socks and between my toes. Squishy tumult between my toes I have.

MD get’s paid for this?

yes.

This is funny.

MD get’s paid for this?

Yeah, well, we don’t pay you to think MuDu!

I think Dimples or Dimsypoo has more cache for a cute puppeh

I think they settled on “The Amazing Dimmer”—or “Dimmer” for short.

Admit it: “C’mer Dimmer!” has a ring to it.

btw, flock, did you and the mrs. name that cute pup of yours yet?  B/c I could just as well add a puppeh to my brood, seeing as how y’all are unfit parents.  Heh.  I keed.

So, not to talk about my fucking cat again, but I did a really bad thing this afternoon.  I cruised the MSPCA website for available furbags.  I don’t plan on adopting any kittehs until after the holiays (if even—need to sort out if the Weez actually prefers to be an only cat.  Stop me, I can talk about this shit for years...) Anyway, check out these beauties, named, perfectly enough, Chloe and Gucci.  No word if they come with a Paddington tote and the perfect low-rise trousers…

Oh, that third paragraph is referring first to the collective “you” of FatJerry inhabitants. In the second sentence, “you” is referring specifically to Tap.

Just thought I would clear that up.

Fun with pronouns!

Next time I’m just sticking my thumbs into the bottoms of all of them

No, dimmer, THAT’S the part that Spazmo likes best. (I win)

Yep. Decided to come and get you all caught up on my exciting life. Was planning to tell the story here but then you nicely provided me with a thread just for that purpose!

MOIRA in the hizzle! Just as I marked u as MIA u shows up…

last time I tried one of those I ended up in tijuana playing strip poker with a midget and a schizophrenic mule.  And losing baaaad, yo.

Ouch, that’ll leave a mark (no puny). Unbridled punctuation never ends well.

a semi-colon with an apostrophe chaser.

last time I tried one of those I ended up in tijuana playing strip poker with a midget and a schizophrenic mule.  And losing baaaad, yo.

Sorry Dim, was up all night watching the snow flakes tumble down! (We got about 3/16”.)

It’s a helluva drug.