From my wife:

I live in Macon
where people are quite stupid
but downtown is neat.

My wife had a dream
where I was black and sexy,
not just fat and white.

Lullaby for Esme Cat

Bunny artists paint bunny art
softly in the sun soaked sand
Bunny artists paint bunny art
softly in the sun soaked sand

Kitty hunters hunt bunny painters
softly on the sun soaked sand
Kitty hunters hunt bunny painters
softly on the sun soaked sand

Albert Camus died
by all counts a Happy Death.
So Lady P says.

No-name Jazz-player
Bleating his heart out on stage
until his reed breaks

Out of the Box

What if
It were actually turned over
and we could realize
some of those things we secretly dream
And some of those things that make our hearts pump
And some of those things that make our throats clutch
And have those birds fly up into our chests and lift us
Until we tingle

The group looked at him
white saucer eyes
limp faces
the silence of grits
The birds flew out of his chest
He had lost them
at What if

In a hot summer
Agriope keeps it cool in
Our l’il nook. Bravo!

Dark Whispers

I should’ve known it then,
I was your fondest friend.
You talked to me of your wildest dreams.
But I chased mine instead.

And in the quiet dark,
a voice from your heart.
You talk to him as you talked to me.
That’s the hardest part.

The Merger

Step right this way, please have a seat.
I think we can all agree that our relationship
is to be built upon our mutual desires -
a two-way street.
The success of our new venture will depend
on the pursuit of common goals,
and a pooling of resources,
to succeed in the end.
However, at the moment, I feel that it is best
for me to focus on my company’s short term goals.
Be assured that as for the other tasks,
I am confident that you are up to the test.
Now, there only remains to be defined
the party who is to tell the children
that although they represent an exciting opportunity,
they do not currently meet the bottom line.

Wee sleeckit timerous beastie
I wold hate tae run and chase thee
When for four thousand fifity
I could hauld agapge your anus and piss in yee.

(Spitzer does Burns.)

No nookie
for Agriope
Aaaaahy!
(Say the last line like Fonzie)

allergies pack snot
into my head so I have
little time for nook

No one
writes to the nook
no more.

Poor nook.

‘The Two-Headed Calf’

A poem published in 1977 by Laura Gilpin:
Tomorrow, when the farm boys find this
freak of nature, they will wrap his body
in newspaper and carry him to the museum.
But tonight he is alive and in the north
field with his mother. It is a perfect
summer evening: the moon rising over
the orchard, the wind in the grass.
And as he stares into the sky, there
are twice as many stars as usual.

I love the vegetables one particularly.

Agriope = genius

Accident
Whimper in my arms
This, the last time I’ll hold you
Red ribbons red life

Fun with Vegetables
She was willing to
experiment until we got
to the potato

I’ve been a long time
Away but watching, waiting
for some better words

But good to have you back, Ag.

That’s not a first post
Nor a second. Agriope’s
Old hand at this game.

Brilliant work Agriope!  Stellar first post, welcome.

That rumbling is not me
nor any of my friends
but I am trying to fix it
I can’t promise for anyone else

I am not perfect
Recently, I’ve been known to hit first
I was scared but do not excuse me
I know I was wrong

It could happen again
and it would be just as wrong
I’m just saying
because I don’t want your hopes up

But that rumbling isn’t me
or any of my friends
Well, there is this one guy
but he’s very put-upon and snaps sometimes

I don’t know the answers
I thought I did
But we’re all in the same boat
so we might as well help each other

That help is for free
or as free as I can make it
Now, what helps you helps me
Forget about it

That rumbling sure is loud
But looking into it makes it worse
Trying to stop it makes it worse
Ignoring it makes it worse

I made it worse, still am in some ways
I would like to say I’m sorry
But I don’t want pity
Just to be able to fix it

You don’t happen to have
a magic fix-it thing handy?
No problem, neither do I
I was just asking

Damn, that fucking rumbling
sure is loud
Somebody needs to fix that

I miss moon
like a jailed man misses poon

Goddess!
enemies love it,
menopausal drawers.

Better yet,
use a rubber.
Fool.

Entitled, Because Now I Look Like a Cheapskate

Do not, at office
Baby showers, employ the
Online registry

No Rolex
No sex

Your genitalia
Does not have the features
I require
for Penetralia*

(including shininess**)

*with apologies to the artist whose show’s name I ripped off

**with apologies to LP

The destination of this train is
God’s Rectum

This train will run express to
God’s Rectum

these ditties I write
in green highlighter pen
on yellow post-it pads
under fluorescent lights
the color of unforgiveness
while the trembling red line
of the Mozilla Gods
tell me that unforgiveness
is not a word

I guess the Gods
have never had Christmas dinner
with my mother

And that is why
I ride an express train
to their rectum

to impart upon them
these and other truths.

Wine.

Wine, wine, wine, wine, wine, wine, wine, wine, WINE!

Wine.

Poems and Poetry
In the month of October
Should include Monsters

Meditations on Lunch At My Desk

The cashew is smooth
The walnut, rumpled
But both are beige

While the raisin is purple

The raisin stand alone,
Yes the raisin stands alone.

The pain of waiting
Waiting after eating
Eating too many burritos
Waiting for the farts to come.

I was inspired by YOU, Dimmer! Hee hee.

Ah, sweet stuff Moon. I fully expect a (much better) remake of “Gone with the wind” this decade.

Fartin’ in the morning,
Fartin’ in the evening,
Fartin’ all summertime!

When you’re really gassy,
The wind is never fine!

The day starts
with my multiple farts.

(There’s another word
to use rather than “multiple”
but I may have just shat my pants
and “multiple”
will just have to do.)

downstains
stains you obtain
from sitting down
in something
wretched

or

stains blossoming
downstairs
if you know what I mean
blossoming after
a miscalculation
a bad call
or Taco Bell for lunch

or at least be less of a douchebag.

Anyway:

mai kitteh
watches me
thru
the frosted
soap-stained
shower door
thinking of
in no
order
particular tuna tartare the revolution the foxy Russian blue who used to live downstains
and the desert nights
ah, those desert nights
resting on the sand
with the finality of night
in the desert.

You would be mekkin toonz
bed toonz
if you knew
how to woo
a lady or two
with a proper haiku

What can I say, friend?
Woke up on wrong side of bed.
noisy neighbors suck.

so fuck off and die

harsh, dude,
like a brillo pad
made of pubes.

What I lack in skill
I make up for in mindless
belligerence, see?

I am too tired
to think of poetry now
so fuck off and die

say it
poetically
fool

But you’re still dead to me.

I was gonna say…

[a lover of the dead, even]

You miss, are now dead to me.

The necrophiliac’s retort
would make me moist
were I lusty for
a lower of the dead.